Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have huge negative effects on society and individuals. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, social media have a significant impact on the world. The number of people thinks that these sites have a massive adverse effect on people and their society. However, I agree with the statement that social sites are severely affecting the community.
The social networks are mainly attracting the young generation. Firstly, some of them are addicted to use these sites. That includes a plethora of false information, and these people follow the untruthful contents, while they live in a fake world. For example, in recent days, people are very health-conscious, and most of them are following the various social sites related to diet and exercise. The majority of them are giving unethical data because of that; these people end up with a lot of health issues in their life.
Secondly, the individuals are using sites like facebook for roll out some wrong details about a person or fame; it creates a big difficult situation for them. For instance, some people put badly morphed photos of a person as a part of revenge. As a result of that, it destroys the life of that person.
On the other hand, these medias giving a wide variety of knowledgable information to the public, and they should utilize these sites in a good manner. People operate these informative media for many criminal activities and also they supporting crime. Only because of that society has a bad image of these sites.
In conclusion, using social sites with improper way may have a lot of harmful effects for the world. Operate these sites as a fair manner; it helps the individuals to support their society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix quantifier agreement Original: The number of people thinks Suggested revision: A number of people think Why it matters: 'A number of' takes a plural verb and correctly refers to an unspecified group.
- 2. Avoid vague repetition Original: people and their society Suggested revision: individuals and society Why it matters: This wording states the two affected groups more precisely without repeating 'people'.
- 3. Use precise term Original: statement that social sites Suggested revision: statement that social networking sites Why it matters: 'Social networking sites' is the precise term used in the task and the argument.
- 4. Use simple present Original: are severely affecting Suggested revision: severely affect Why it matters: The simple present is more suitable for a general, ongoing claim.
- 5. Remove general article Original: The social networks Suggested revision: Social networks Why it matters: A plural noun used to make a general statement does not require 'the'.
- 6. Use simple present Original: are mainly attracting Suggested revision: mainly attract Why it matters: The simple present expresses this general tendency more naturally.
- 7. Use natural noun Original: the young generation Suggested revision: young people Why it matters: 'Young people' is the idiomatic expression for the group being described.
- 8. Use gerund form Original: use Suggested revision: using Why it matters: The preposition 'to' in 'addicted to' must be followed by a gerund.
- 9. Clarify pronoun reference Original: That includes Suggested revision: They include Why it matters: The plural pronoun clearly refers back to the social networking sites.
- 10. Use uncountable noun Original: untruthful contents Suggested revision: false content Why it matters: 'Content' is normally uncountable here, and 'false' is the natural modifier.
- 11. Improve verb phrase Original: are following the various social sites Suggested revision: follow various social media accounts Why it matters: The simple present and a more precise object make the general statement natural.
- 12. Remove general article Original: the individuals are using Suggested revision: individuals are using Why it matters: The plural noun refers to people generally, so the definite article is unnecessary.
Suggested Rewrites
- The number of people thinks A number of people think
- people and their society individuals and society
- statement that social sites statement that social networking sites
- are severely affecting severely affect
- The social networks Social networks
- are mainly attracting mainly attract
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers concrete examples of misinformation, reputational harm, and criminal misuse. Its main limitation is uneven development: the final body paragraph becomes logically confused, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken clarity across the essay. The highest-priority improvement is to build each paragraph around one clearly expressed claim and revise sentences for accurate verb forms, articles, and word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement is maintained and relevant harms are discussed, although some ideas are insufficiently explained or internally unclear.
Clarify the purpose of the final body paragraph and show precisely how each example supports the stated position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has recognisable paragraphing and an overall sequence, but faulty linking and referencing sometimes disrupt progression.
Use one controlling idea per body paragraph and connect sentences with accurate logical relationships rather than formulaic transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent word-choice and collocation errors reduce precision.
Replace unnatural combinations such as 'unethical data' and 'big difficult situation' with standard, context-appropriate expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, verb patterns, articles, and sentence construction weaken control.
Prioritise accurate subject-verb agreement and verb forms, then check each complex sentence for a complete, grammatical clause structure.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have huge negative effects on society and individuals. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.