Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?
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Sample Response
In the present day, social networking sites have become a major topic of discussion. Social media platforms, for example Facebook, **are thought by some to have had a detrimental effect on both** individuals and societies. However, while I support that the advantages of social media platforms outweighoverweigh the disadvantages.
To begin with, I have to admit that social networking communities online have negative impacts on individual people as well as the whole society, which is grounded in reasonable considerations. One of the main arguments supporting this view is thatOne of the strongest arguments in its favour is that residents in real local communities rarely engage in social activities or build close relationshipsdo social activities or structure close relationships anymore. Consequently, **society as a whole is becoming increasingly disjointed and fragmented as people spend more time online with other users they have never met face-to-face. It is definitely negative for social communities to improve unity.** On the other hand, proponents argue thatHowever, a concern that arises from the fact that social networks have many convenient featuresmoney convenient supports. For instance, the Internet bridges the gap of regionreligion and time so that individuals can interact with others at minimal costwithout many costs. The explanation for this lies in the fact that people usually find it hard to findfeel hard to find close friends or soulmatesclosed friends or soul mate in real life due to limited social circlessocial interacting circles.
A further consideration that social media groups have provided an increasing number of people with various job opportunities. The logic underpinning this point is that being an independent blogger has become extremely popular among young people. As we can see, facing a fiercely competitive employment environmentfacing to severely competitive employment environment, many young people choose to be independent bloggersyoung people choose to be an independent blogger on social networking sites, which not only offers various job opportunities to individuals, but also helps governments relieverelease the pressure of unemployment. Furthermore, this trend is also beneficial for society to partly avoid social conflicts and crime. If people do not have social media to relieve their stressrelease their stresses and depressive emotions, they might have psychological and mental health issues. It is only by considering these two factors together that we can fully appreciate the strength of this standpoint.
In conclusion, although social media sites remain a matter of debate, the position that they have brought more positive development and progressthe position that it has brought more positive development and progresses to both residents and societies is more compelling and justifiablestands out as the reasonable and crucial one. As for the negative effects that decreasing social connections among local communities can be resolved through holding more activities in communities to attract people to participate in.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by evaluating both the drawbacks and benefits of social networking platforms before reaching a clear stance. However, the overall coherence is hindered by convoluted sentence structures and occasional awkward vocabulary choices. To improve, focus on expressing ideas with clearer grammatical control and avoiding overly complex phrasing that obscures meaning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You present a clear position and address both the negative and positive aspects of social media on individuals and society.
Ensure all supporting arguments directly support your main thesis with logical explanations rather than introducing tangential ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organized into clear paragraphs, but the transition between opposing ideas within paragraphs can feel abrupt or awkwardly linked.
Use clearer transition markers to distinguish between counterarguments and your main supporting points.
Lexical Resource
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, though there are several imprecise word choices and collocations.
Focus on using familiar word partnerships accurately rather than forcing sophisticated vocabulary that may sound unnatural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted, but frequent grammatical mistakes and structural awkwardness lower overall clarity.
Simplify complex sentence patterns to ensure subject-verb agreement and proper clause linkage throughout the essay.