Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?
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Sample Response
In the present day, social networking sites have become a major topic of discussion. Social media platforms, for example Facebook, are thought by some to have had a detrimental effect on both individuals and societies. However, I believeHowever, while I support that the advantages of social media platforms outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin with, I have to admit that social networking communities online have negative impacts on individualsindividual people as well as the whole society, which is grounded in reasonable considerations. One of the main arguments supporting this view is that residents in real local communities rarely engage in social activitiesdo social activities or buildstructure close relationships anymore. Consequently, society as a whole is becoming increasingly disjointed and fragmented as people spend more time online with other users they have never met face-to-face. It is definitely negative for social communities to improve unity. However, an opposite concern that arises from the fact that social networks have many more practical benefitsconvenient supports. For instance, the Internet bridges the gap of regionreligion and time so that individuals can interact with others at little costwithout many costs. Meanwhile, the explanationMeanwhile the explanation for this lies in the fact that people usually find it difficult to make closeclosed friends or soul mates in their real lives due to limited social interacting circles.
A further consideration that social media groups have provided an increasing number of people with various job opportunities. The logic underpinning this point is that being an independent blogger has become extremely popular among young people. DeleteAs we can see, facing a fiercely competitive employment environmentfacing to severely competitive employment environment, many young people choose to be independent bloggers on social networking sites, which not only offers various job opportunities to individuals, but also helps governments relieverelease the pressure of unemployment. Furthermore, this trend is also beneficial for society to partly avoid social conflicts and crime. If people do not have social media to relieve their stressrelease their stresses and depressive emotions, they might have psychological and mental health issues. It is only by considering these two factors together that we can fully appreciate the strength of this standpoint.
In conclusion, although social media sites remain a matter of debate, the position that they have brought more positive development and progressprogresses to both residents and societies stands out as athe reasonable and crucial one. As for the negative effects that decreasing social connections among local communities can be resolved through holding more activities in communities to attract people to participate.to participate in.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay successfully addresses the task by arguing that social networking sites offer benefits that outweigh their negative impacts, presenting clear main arguments. However, incomplete sentence structures and grammatical fragments significantly hinder the smooth flow of ideas. To elevate the score, focus on eliminating sentence fragments and framing the response strictly around agreeing or disagreeing with the prompt's statement rather than using an advantages-disadvantages template.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear main position and covers both negative and positive impacts on individuals and society.
Ensure the argument explicitly addresses the extent of agreement with the prompt rather than switching to an advantages versus disadvantages framework.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs are logically ordered, but transitions between opposing points within paragraphs are occasionally clumsy or structurally incomplete.
Use complete sentence patterns when introducing counterarguments or additional supporting ideas to avoid logical disruptions.
Lexical Resource
The candidate demonstrates a good range of topic-specific vocabulary with some effective word choices alongside minor collocational errors.
Refine word choices and idiomatic expressions to ensure natural phrasing in phrases like close friends instead of closed friends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted, but frequent sentence fragments and grammatical errors interrupt structural accuracy.
Check that subordinate clauses introduced by linking words like while or that are attached to main clauses to eliminate incomplete sentences.