In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is true that natural talents or skills probably can guarantee the future career of people especially in music, entertainment industries, literature etc. However, some people believe that they probably can be successful without having a skill or certain talent. I personally agree to say that people might achieve their goals of life without having a talent in terms of several reasons.
The first reason is that it is not talent that can guarantee someone’s success particularly in entertainment industries but the major factor is all about popularity. The popularity can be gained by doing such unusual action that may attract people’s attention loving to see or enjoy it. For example, there are some artists or actors are hired by the film production not because of their talents, moreover, it goes to the unique character of those persons that enable them playing comedian film.
The second reason is that the point of networking plays very important role in succeeding someone’s career in entertainment industry or arts. By having networks, we can easily get a job even though we do not have natural or genuine talents because people will recruit people who they know well by considering relationship and friendship values. For example, there are so many people sitting on the strategic position in a company because they have a closer relationship with the boss or managers.
However, it is true that talented and skilled people probably tend to work professionally but talents and skills can be replaced by popularity and networks which lead them to have a job sooner and the professionalism will be gained during the experience in working or can be possessed through training provided by those companies.
In short, popularity and networks tend to bring people having a wide opportunity in the job market and I believe that those kinds of things probably replace the existence of talents or skills as well as bring them to the prosperous and successful life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Place adverb naturally Original: probably can guarantee Suggested revision: can probably guarantee Why it matters: The modal verb normally precedes the probability adverb in this construction.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: the future career of people Suggested revision: people’s future careers Why it matters: The possessive form is more concise and allows for different people’s individual careers.
- 3. Remove faulty complement Original: agree to say Suggested revision: agree Why it matters: “Agree” can introduce the following content clause directly, so “to say” is incorrect here.
- 4. Use correct reason phrase Original: in terms of several reasons Suggested revision: for several reasons Why it matters: “For several reasons” is the idiomatic phrase for introducing the basis of a claim.
- 5. Simplify the emphasis Original: it is not talent that can guarantee someone’s success Suggested revision: talent alone cannot guarantee someone’s success Why it matters: The revision expresses the same limitation more directly and with a complete subject-verb structure.
- 6. Remove vague wording Original: the major factor is all about popularity Suggested revision: the major factor is popularity Why it matters: “Is all about” is unnecessarily vague in this formal claim.
- 7. Use direct noun Original: the point of networking Suggested revision: networking Why it matters: “Networking” itself is the subject, so “the point of” is unnecessary and awkward.
- 8. Add missing article Original: plays very important role Suggested revision: plays a very important role Why it matters: The singular countable noun “role” requires the article “a.”
- 9. Correct the collocation Original: succeeding Suggested revision: advancing Why it matters: A career is “advanced,” whereas “succeeding a career” is not a valid collocation.
- 10. Add definite articles Original: in entertainment industry or arts Suggested revision: in the entertainment industry or the arts Why it matters: Both established fields require the definite article in this context.
- 11. Clarify the means Original: By having networks Suggested revision: Through personal networks Why it matters: The revision names the relevant kind of network and expresses the means more naturally.
- 12. Identify the recruiters Original: people will recruit people who they know well Suggested revision: employers will recruit people whom they know well Why it matters: “Employers” supplies the logical subject and avoids the vague repetition of “people.”
Suggested Rewrites
- probably can guarantee can probably guarantee
- the future career of people people’s future careers
- agree to say agree
- in terms of several reasons for several reasons
- it is not talent that can guarantee someone’s success talent alone cannot guarantee someone’s success
- the major factor is all about popularity the major factor is popularity
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s clearest strength is its consistent explanation that popularity and personal networks can enable success without exceptional talent, with a logical paragraph structure and relevant supporting examples. Its main limitation is incomplete task coverage, since it barely examines the claim that genuine talent is consequently undervalued, while some examples extend beyond the arts. The highest priority is to address that consequence directly and support it with precise arts-related evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear viewpoint and develops two relevant causes of success without talent, but it does not fully address the devaluation of genuine talent.
Explain how popularity or networking specifically causes talented artists to receive less recognition, using an example drawn directly from the arts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall progression are clear, though some linking is mechanical and the long fourth paragraph compresses several relationships.
Give the concession a clearer internal sequence and use fewer formulaic transitions so each logical step follows naturally.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices limit clarity and precision.
Use more natural combinations such as build a career, leading position, and gain professional experience, while removing vague repeated wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring errors with articles, relative clauses, verb patterns, and sentence boundaries weaken accuracy.
Revise complex sentences into well-controlled clauses, checking articles and verb patterns such as enable someone to do something.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.