In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In recent days, there are so many talentless people come to entertainment industries. It is easy for them to gain popularity compared with the other entertainers. Some assert that talentless artist becomes rich and famous and the genuine talent will not be appreciated again. I personally disagree with this viewpoint and this essay will look into the reasons together with some considerations.
The first reason is that talent-less people obtain popularity for the short period of time. In my point of view, they cannot survive in the real competition with people who already have a remarkable talent in the entertainment industry. They are just becoming popular because of the role of media instead of their capabilities. For instance, there are some Indonesian artists becoming famous because of creating controversial issues. They have no capability which enables people to impress on them, thus it is quite easy for society to forget them. Meanwhile, talented entertainers will keep producing and showing their ability and capability so people will put more appreciation towards their performances.
Another reason is that the usage of technological enables people to show up and it is easy for them to attract society and to become a well-known person. Moreover, technology can make talent-less people look like a professional artist. Take being a singer as an example, when people have no ability to be a singer, technology usage can edit and perform their voice as a professional singer. I truly believe that they will not stay longer in their popularity because society is able to differentiate people who have great talent or not. Therefore, they cannot replace the position of the talented artist in society.
To sum up, to be a famous person, people should have the capability which can impress people thus it enables them to survive in that kind of life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural time phrase Original: days Suggested revision: years Why it matters: “In recent years” is the conventional phrase for an ongoing social trend.
- 2. Use singular industry Original: entertainment industries Suggested revision: the entertainment industry Why it matters: The general sector is conventionally treated as one industry and requires “the.”
- 3. Fix comparative structure Original: compared with the other entertainers Suggested revision: than other entertainers Why it matters: “Easier” takes a “than” comparison, not “compared with.”
- 4. Use plural agreement Original: talentless artist becomes Suggested revision: talentless artists become Why it matters: The general claim requires a plural subject and matching verb.
- 5. Refer to talented people Original: the genuine talent Suggested revision: genuinely talented people Why it matters: The sentence contrasts people, so an abstract noun is not the appropriate counterpart.
- 6. Use present condition Original: will not be appreciated again Suggested revision: are no longer appreciated Why it matters: The claim concerns a current situation, and “no longer” expresses continuation from the past.
- 7. Use standard spelling and verb Original: talent-less people obtain popularity Suggested revision: talentless people gain popularity Why it matters: “Talentless” is one word, and people “gain” popularity.
- 8. Fix article and wording Original: for the short period of time Suggested revision: for a short period Why it matters: An unspecified period takes “a,” and “of time” is unnecessary.
- 9. Fix viewpoint phrase Original: In Suggested revision: From Why it matters: The fixed expression uses the preposition “from.”
- 10. Use natural competition term Original: the real competition Suggested revision: genuine competition Why it matters: “Genuine competition” expresses sustained professional competition more naturally.
- 11. Name media exposure Original: because of the role of media Suggested revision: because of media exposure Why it matters: The replacement states the mechanism more directly and concisely.
- 12. Fix cause phrase Original: because of creating controversial issues Suggested revision: by creating controversy Why it matters: “By” introduces the means, and “controversy” is the natural uncountable noun.
Suggested Rewrites
- days years
- entertainment industries the entertainment industry
- compared with the other entertainers than other entertainers
- talentless artist becomes talentless artists become
- the genuine talent genuinely talented people
- will not be appreciated again are no longer appreciated
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay consistently rejects the claim by arguing that media or technology may create short-lived fame but cannot replace genuine artistic ability, and the Indonesian-celebrity and singer examples keep the discussion relevant. Its main limitation is that both body paragraphs make essentially the same temporary-popularity point, while frequent grammatical and lexical errors weaken clarity. Prioritise developing a distinct second reason—such as audiences’ long-term appreciation of skill—with more precise examples and language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant reasons and examples are provided, but development is repetitive and focuses narrowly on entertainment fame rather than appreciation across the arts.
Add a separate argument showing how sustained quality, training, or critical recognition preserves genuine talent in music, literature, acting, or visual art.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall progression are clear, but the two body paragraphs overlap substantially and some sentence-level links are mechanical.
Make the first paragraph about temporary media attention and the second about why skilled artists retain long-term audiences and careers.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss fame, media, technology, talent, and competition, but frequent word-form and collocation errors reduce precision.
Use untalented artists, gain brief popularity, attract public attention, enhance a singer’s voice, distinguish genuine talent, and remain famous.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally understandable, but frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, infinitives, relative clauses, and pronoun reference limit control.
Correct structures such as many untalented people enter, an artist becomes, technology enables, impress audiences, whether people are talented, and artists’ positions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.