The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
Technology has advanced tremendously and significantly in the last century. This progression is conspicuous in a school-room today. Although some opine that, this technology trend will replace the classic teacher's role, I strongly believe that the position of standard instructor at essence in the educational process. This will be proven by analysing how the teachers are able to cater students' requirements, as well as, catalyse and discipline them. It is agreed that for comprehension aim the ability of selective explanation at paramount importance for various pupils. For instance, students are diverse of their assimilation degree, and the skilled instructor who is capable of fulfilling these varieties of learners need in form of rephrasing or simplifying his conception. Obviously, the computer-based teacher is not aimed at that humankind unique task. Thus, these new devices are not ideal to dismiss the human participation in teaching procedure.
In addition, motivation and discipline are critical keystones in the educational procedure. This is certainly true in dealing with children who need sensitive approaches to fortify their perceptions and skills. In contrary, the computer-based course is directed to implement in a constant non-interactive procedure. Therefore, human instructors could not be replaced fruitfully with advanced apparatus.
To put it in a nutshell, though contemporary modern technology has a significant influence on our life, I personally believe that the essence role cannot be simply replaced or subtract in favour of computerised lifestyle. However, we should utilise this equipment in order to reinforce the teacher's contribution in the educational progression.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Modern spelling Original: school-room Suggested revision: classroom Why it matters: 'Classroom' is the standard term.
- 2. Remove comma Original: opine that, this technology trend Suggested revision: opine that this technology trend Why it matters: Do not place a comma immediately after 'that' in this clause.
- 3. Natural phrase Original: classic teacher's role Suggested revision: traditional teacher's role Why it matters: The prompt uses 'traditional teacher', which is more natural here.
- 4. Unclear structure Original: the position of standard instructor at essence Suggested revision: the role of the traditional instructor is essential Why it matters: The original phrase is grammatically incomplete and unclear.
- 5. Verb pattern Original: cater students' requirements Suggested revision: cater to students' needs Why it matters: Use 'cater to' and the common phrase 'students' needs'.
- 6. Comma error Original: as well as, catalyse Suggested revision: as well as catalyse Why it matters: No comma is needed after 'as well as'.
- 7. Unnatural phrase Original: for comprehension aim Suggested revision: for comprehension Why it matters: The extra noun 'aim' makes the phrase ungrammatical.
- 8. Missing verb Original: the ability of selective explanation at paramount importance Suggested revision: the ability to give selective explanations is of paramount importance Why it matters: The clause needs a clear verb and natural noun phrase.
- 9. Unclear grammar Original: students are diverse of their assimilation degree Suggested revision: students differ in how quickly they understand new material Why it matters: The original is not idiomatic and obscures the idea.
- 10. Plural possessive Original: varieties of learners need Suggested revision: various learners' needs Why it matters: Use the possessive plural and the noun 'needs'.
- 11. Unclear reference Original: his conception Suggested revision: the concept Why it matters: The original phrase is unclear and gendered unnecessarily.
- 12. Natural phrase Original: humankind unique task Suggested revision: uniquely human task Why it matters: This is the idiomatic adjective order.
Suggested Rewrites
- school-room classroom
- opine that, this technology trend opine that this technology trend
- classic teacher's role traditional teacher's role
- the position of standard instructor at essence the role of the traditional instructor is essential
- cater students' requirements cater to students' needs
- as well as, catalyse as well as catalyse
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response gives a clear disagreement and presents relevant reasons: teachers adapt explanations and provide motivation/discipline. However, support is limited and examples are thin, so the argument is not fully developed.
Add one concrete classroom example for each reason and briefly acknowledge what technology can do before explaining why it cannot fully replace teachers.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is basic paragraphing and a logical sequence, but cohesion is sometimes awkward and repetitive. Some sentences are hard to follow because linking language is misused.
Use clearer topic sentences and simpler transitions such as 'First', 'Another reason', and 'However'.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary range is attempted, but many choices are unnatural or inaccurate: 'standard instructor at essence', 'comprehension aim', 'humankind unique task', and 'advanced apparatus'.
Prioritise natural academic vocabulary over unusual synonyms: 'human teacher', 'essential role', 'individual learning needs', and 'educational technology'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors occur in articles, prepositions, sentence structure, and verb forms. Meaning is sometimes strained, especially in long complex sentences.
Write shorter sentences with clear subject-verb-object structure, then add one controlled subordinate clause where needed.