People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?
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Sample Response
In recent years, many people around the world are spending increasingly long periodsare spending increasing amounts of time away from their families. This trend can be attributed mainly to career advancement and educational opportunities in other cities or countries.
The modern job market often demands relocation. People relocatemove abroad or to large cities for better pay, professional growth, or job stability. Similarly, young adults move away from home to pursue higher education, especially when their preferreddesired courses or universities are not available nearby. While these decisions may offer personalindividual benefits, they often require long-term separation from loved ones.
This prolonged separationdistance can lead to weakerweakened family bonds. Children may grow up feeling emotionally distant from one or both parents. Moreover, olderelderly parents might experience loneliness or inadequate supportsuffer from loneliness or lack of support. For individuals living away from homeFor the individuals away from home, limited daily interaction with familythe lack of daily interaction with family can cause stresscan result in stress and a sense of isolation.
In conclusion, although career and education are understandablevalid reasons for living away from family, this increase in family separationthis growing trend can strain family relationships and affect emotional well-being for both those who leave and those who remainon both sides.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is notably clear, well organised, and linguistically controlled, presenting relevant causes and effects in a concise progression. Its decisive limitation is the substantial shortfall from the expected length, which leaves otherwise appropriate ideas briefly asserted rather than fully developed. The highest priority is to add specific explanation and examples for both the causes and the effects while preserving the current clarity and accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and effects with relevant ideas, but at only 176 words its points lack the extension and support expected for Task 2.
Reach the expected length by explaining how each cause produces separation and illustrating the consequences for individuals and different family members.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through a clear introduction, causes, effects, and conclusion, with cohesive devices used appropriately.
Preserve this structure while extending each body paragraph with a supporting example that remains tightly connected to its central idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural for the topic, with effective phrases describing relocation, emotional distance, and well-being.
Broaden the discussion with equally precise language for practical family circumstances rather than relying on general references to separation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A flexible range of simple and complex sentences is used with strong control, and the response contains very few noticeable errors.
Maintain this accuracy while adding longer explanatory sentences, ensuring that added complexity does not create overloaded structures.