People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?
Sample Response
The growingincreasing amount of time people spend away from their families in many countries is largely driven by socioeconomic pressuresinfluenced by socioeconomic demands and technological advancesadvancements. This modern phenomenon, while offering certain benefits, also brings significant emotional and social consequencesa range of emotional and social consequences.
AOne primary cause is the pursuit of economic stability. In an increasingly competitive world, individuals often migrate for better job opportunities, especially from rural to urban areas or even overseas. Advances in technologyTechnological developments have also made long-distance communication easiermade remote communication easier, encouraging people to live farther from their familieslive farther from home with the expectation thatunder the illusion that virtual contact can replace physical presence. Additionally, some people prioritize personal ambitions or preferred lifestylespersonal ambition or lifestyle preferences, further increasing their distance from their familiesfurther widening the distance from family.
The effects, however, are not always positive. Emotionally, prolonged separation can weaken family bondsprolonged separation weakens interpersonal connections. Parents might feel guilt or anxiety for being absent, while children or elderly family members may experience loneliness or abandonment. Furthermore, the erosion of daily interactions can diminish shared values, traditions, and the emotional support that families traditionally providethe emotional support system that families traditionally provide.
In conclusion, while economic ambition and modern communication tools enable people to live away from family, the long-term emotional and relational costs highlight the need to balanceneed for balancing professional goals with family cohesion.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is notably clear, logically organised, and linguistically precise, with relevant causes and consequences presented in a compact progression. Its main limitation is the substantial shortfall from the minimum length, which leaves several ideas asserted rather than fully supported and narrows the depth of the discussion. The highest-priority improvement is to add specific explanation or examples for each main cause and effect while maintaining the same controlled style.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and effects with relevant ideas, but its under-length treatment limits the depth and support of those ideas.
Extend each main cause and consequence with a specific example or a fuller explanation of how it affects family members.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, with cohesion handled smoothly.
Preserve this clear structure while expanding the body paragraphs without compressing several distinct ideas into brief lists.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys abstract social and emotional ideas naturally and with strong control.
Maintain this precision while adding more concrete language to illustrate the practical effects of prolonged separation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentence structures is used accurately, with consistently clear and controlled expression.
Retain this grammatical control when developing longer explanations and examples to meet the required length.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.