Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Sample Response
The tourism industry has flourished significantly over the last few years. Large numbers of people travel around the globe, which brings money and prosperity to the visiting country. Some people argue that tourists create lots of pollution by throwing garbage which required extra effort and money to clean. Thus should be charged more. However, others state that they bring business to the country and should charge nominally. I believe that foreign visitors help native peoples in order to run their business by using their services.
Tourists play a pivotal role in strengthening the economy of the destination country. Countries such as Malaysia and Singapore mainly depend on their tourism industry. They are spending a huge amount of money to preserve their historical places. That will attract millions of tourists to travel these countries every year. In addition to this, tourist used local services such as hotels, restaurant, clothes and health facilities. This helped local peoples to run their business smoothly.
However, tourists also bring waste and diseases with themselves. This could severely harm the health of local peoples. For example, the epidemic of Malaysia was due to a foreign visitor. Furthermore, tourists are lethargic and do not care about cleaning, and would like to throw garbage and other waste materials anywhere they want. This required extra cost to clean and preserve the beauty of the surrounding nature.
In conclusion, I believe that we should welcome tourist whole-heartedly and let them enjoy their holidays economically. This would leave positive impression on their mind and a reason to visit the place again.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: which brings Suggested revision: which bring Why it matters: The relative verb must agree with the plural antecedent “numbers.”
- 2. Use precise term Original: visiting country Suggested revision: destination country Why it matters: “Destination country” clearly means the country being visited.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: lots of pollution Suggested revision: considerable pollution Why it matters: This alternative is more precise and appropriately formal for an essay.
- 4. Correct verb tense Original: which required Suggested revision: which requires Why it matters: The general claim needs the present-tense verb “requires.”
- 5. Add sentence subject Original: Thus should Suggested revision: They should therefore Why it matters: The sentence needs an explicit subject before the modal verb.
- 6. Use passive form Original: should charge nominally Suggested revision: should be charged a nominal fee Why it matters: Visitors receive the charge, so a passive construction is required.
- 7. Choose natural noun Original: native peoples Suggested revision: local people Why it matters: “Local people” is the natural term for residents in this context.
- 8. Remove wordiness Original: in order to run Suggested revision: run Why it matters: The shorter infinitive expresses the same purpose more directly.
- 9. Add preposition Original: travel these countries Suggested revision: travel to these countries Why it matters: The verb needs “to” before a destination country.
- 10. Fix number and tense Original: tourist used Suggested revision: tourists use Why it matters: The general statement requires a plural subject and present-tense verb.
- 11. Use plural noun Original: hotels, restaurant Suggested revision: hotels, restaurants Why it matters: The countable noun should be plural in this list of services.
- 12. Clarify service list Original: clothes and health facilities Suggested revision: clothing shops and health facilities Why it matters: “Clothing shops” names a local service, whereas “clothes” names goods.
Suggested Rewrites
- which brings which bring
- visiting country destination country
- lots of pollution considerable pollution
- which required which requires
- Thus should They should therefore
- should charge nominally should be charged a nominal fee
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear broad stance against higher charges and presents relevant economic and environmental considerations, with an easy-to-follow paragraph structure. Its main limitation is that much of the discussion describes tourism's benefits and costs without directly explaining why these points justify equal pricing, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The priority is to state the degree of disagreement explicitly and develop each reason around the charging policy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response presents an implied disagreement and relevant ideas, but it addresses the proposed price difference only indirectly and develops some claims weakly.
State the degree of disagreement explicitly and connect every main paragraph to why foreign visitors should or should not pay more.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, although some referencing and linking between sentences are abrupt or imprecise.
Use clearer logical links and reference words so that each explanation follows smoothly from its main claim.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of tourism-related vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations and word choices reduce accuracy.
Prioritise natural combinations such as local people, destination country, and charge reasonable prices, and avoid imprecise generalisations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but frequent agreement, article, tense, and sentence-completion errors weaken control.
Proofread systematically for complete clauses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and consistent verb tense.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.