Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
School curriculums may vary from school to school, but their primary objective is the same everywhere which is to educate and enlighten students. However, some people claim that schools should focus more on job-oriented subjects rather than teaching traditional ones like arts and history. I personally disagree with this view and believe that traditional subjects are just as important as skill-oriented subjects.
To begin with, ‘job-oriented subject’ is itself an inexplicit term. Some would say that subjects that enhance practical skills like computing or gardening are job-oriented subjects, but no one can assure that all students in a class will become computer engineers and specialists in planting and gardening. That is why forcing pupils to study subjects that they do not feel interested in would bring negative results.
Moreover, schools are meant to nurture young students’ creativity and foster their talent to let them explore their true potential. From this perspective, imposing job-related subjects is like suppressing the potential of the future generation. If schools can bring diversity among students and inform them about different perspectives of life, the students will themselves choose their careers and transcend in future.
Finally, Arts and History are as much important as any science and technical subjects are. The study of history empowers us to be prepared for the future and learn from mistakes made by our ancestors. Similarly, arts and other traditional subjects allow us to learn to appreciate life. We revere Van Gauge and Leonardo da Vinci as much as we admire Sir Isaac Newton and Einstein. The world needs great artists and historians no less than it needs talented scientists and engineers.
To conclude, schools should equally focus on traditional subjects and skill-oriented subjects and nurture students’ hidden potential to prepare the future generation to become leaders, not corporate slaves.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Restore parallel structure Original: job-oriented subjects rather than teaching Suggested revision: job-oriented rather than Why it matters: Both sides of ‘rather than’ should use parallel noun phrases.
- 2. Use subject names Original: traditional ones like arts and history Suggested revision: traditional subjects such as art and history Why it matters: The revision uses the singular subject name ‘art’ and a precise formal example marker.
- 3. Use the correct adjective Original: inexplicit Suggested revision: imprecise Why it matters: ‘Imprecise’ naturally describes a term whose meaning is not clearly defined.
- 4. Use formal example marker Original: practical skills like computing Suggested revision: practical skills such as computing Why it matters: ‘Such as’ introduces examples more precisely in formal prose.
- 5. Correct verb choice Original: assure Suggested revision: guarantee Why it matters: ‘Guarantee’ can take a that-clause directly, whereas ‘assure’ normally requires a person as its object.
- 6. Name distinct careers Original: computer engineers and specialists in planting and gardening Suggested revision: computer engineers or horticultural specialists Why it matters: The revision gives the two career categories concise, parallel names.
- 7. Use natural adjective form Original: do not feel interested in Suggested revision: are not interested in Why it matters: ‘Be interested in’ is the standard construction for expressing a student's preference.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: would bring negative results Suggested revision: would have negative consequences Why it matters: ‘Have negative consequences’ is the natural formal collocation.
- 9. Match plural students Original: talent Suggested revision: talents Why it matters: The plural noun reflects the different abilities possessed by multiple students.
- 10. Clarify the result Original: to let them explore Suggested revision: allowing them to explore Why it matters: The participial clause more clearly shows the result of nurturing creativity and talent.
- 11. State the requirement clearly Original: imposing job-related subjects Suggested revision: making job-related subjects compulsory Why it matters: The revision states more precisely that the subjects would be required.
- 12. Use natural verb pattern Original: empowers us to be prepared Suggested revision: enables us to prepare Why it matters: ‘Enable someone to prepare’ is the natural construction for this meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- job-oriented subjects rather than teaching job-oriented rather than
- traditional ones like arts and history traditional subjects such as art and history
- inexplicit imprecise
- practical skills like computing practical skills such as computing
- assure guarantee
- computer engineers and specialists in planting and gardening computer engineers or horticultural specialists
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear position that traditional and vocational subjects deserve equal emphasis, and it supports this view through arguments about individual interests, creativity, and the social value of arts and history. Organization is logical and the language shows good range, but several claims are simplistic and some word choices and comparative structures are inaccurate. The main improvement is to develop a more balanced, evidence-based comparison between the two curriculum priorities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is consistent and supported by several relevant ideas, though some reasoning about vocational teaching is generalized or insufficiently examined.
Acknowledge the employment benefits of practical skills and explain more convincingly why a balanced curriculum produces better overall outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through distinct body paragraphs and the conclusion follows the argument, with clear but sometimes formulaic linking.
Use transitions that show the precise relationship between claims and examples instead of relying mainly on ‘Moreover’ and ‘Finally’.
Lexical Resource
There is a sufficient range of education-related vocabulary, but inaccurate choices such as ‘inexplicit’, ‘transcend in future’, and ‘as much important’ reduce precision.
Use natural academic alternatives such as ‘ill-defined’, ‘succeed in future’, and ‘as important as’ and check proper names carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with generally good control, despite occasional errors in comparison, agreement, and clause construction.
Review comparative patterns and ensure that subjects, complements, and verbs remain parallel in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.