Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In today's rapidly changing world, many people believe that schools should focus more on teaching practical skills that can help students secure a job. However, I strongly believe that traditional subjects such as history and literature are equally important and should continue to be taught in schools.
Firstly, studying traditional subjects provides students with a well-rounded education. Subjects such as history, literature, and philosophy are essential for developing critical thinking, analytical and communication skills. These subjects can help students to understand the complexities of the world and develop a broader perspective on different cultures and societies. For instance, studying history can teach students about the mistakes made by past civilizations, and how these mistakes can be avoided in the future. Similarly, studying literature can help students to appreciate different writing styles and the underlying themes of different literary works.
Secondly, traditional subjects are often prerequisites for many careers. Fields such as law, journalism, and international relations require a strong foundation in history, literature, and social sciences. By studying these subjects in school, students are well-prepared for college and eventually for their chosen career paths. For example, studying history can prepare students for careers in journalism, where they must understand current events and their historical context. Similarly, students who study literature are better prepared for careers in fields such as writing, publishing, and academia.
Lastly, focusing solely on job-specific skills can limit students' potential for growth and self-improvement. While teaching practical skills is important, it should not come at the expense of broader education. Students need to learn more than just how to get a job; they need to develop skills that will help them succeed in all aspects of their lives. A well-rounded education can help students to become informed, engaged citizens who are capable of contributing to their communities in meaningful ways.
In conclusion, while schools need to teach practical skills, traditional subjects should not be overlooked. These subjects provide a foundation for critical thinking, analytical skills, and communication that are essential for success in both academic and professional life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Make skill list parallel Original: critical thinking, analytical and communication skills Suggested revision: critical-thinking, analytical, and communication skills Why it matters: All three modifiers should parallelly describe “skills,” with punctuation separating the list.
- 2. Use concise verb pattern Original: help students to understand Suggested revision: help students understand Why it matters: After “help,” the bare infinitive is more concise and natural.
- 3. Remove unnecessary comma Original: civilizations, and how Suggested revision: civilizations and how Why it matters: The coordinated objects share the same verb, so no comma is needed before “and.”
- 4. Use concise verb pattern Original: help students to appreciate Suggested revision: help students appreciate Why it matters: The bare infinitive after “help” is the more concise construction.
- 5. Simplify career phrase Original: eventually for their chosen career paths Suggested revision: eventually for their chosen careers Why it matters: “Chosen careers” conveys the same meaning more concisely.
- 6. Remove layered phrasing Original: careers in fields such as writing, publishing, and academia Suggested revision: careers in writing, publishing, and academia Why it matters: The list already names fields, so “fields such as” is unnecessary.
- 7. Use concise adverb Original: in meaningful ways Suggested revision: meaningfully Why it matters: The adverb expresses the same idea more directly.
- 8. Restore list parallelism Original: critical thinking, analytical skills, and communication Suggested revision: critical-thinking, analytical, and communication skills Why it matters: The revision makes all three terms parallel modifiers of “skills.”
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: For example, studying history can prepare students for careers in journalism, where they must understand current events and their historical context. Suggested revision: For example, studying history can prepare students for journalism careers that require an understanding of current events and their historical context. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the loose location relative clause while preserving the career example.
- 10. Link examples to skills Suggested revision: Connect the history and literature examples explicitly to the critical-thinking, analytical, and communication skills named in the topic sentence. Why it matters: This would make the paragraph's examples support its organising claim more directly.
- 11. Align example sequence Suggested revision: Present the history and literature career examples in the same order as the subject foundations listed earlier in the paragraph. Why it matters: A matched sequence would make the subject-to-career progression easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- critical thinking, analytical and communication skills critical-thinking, analytical, and communication skills
- help students to understand help students understand
- civilizations, and how civilizations and how
- help students to appreciate help students appreciate
- eventually for their chosen career paths eventually for their chosen careers
- careers in fields such as writing, publishing, and academia careers in writing, publishing, and academia
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear, nuanced position that practical skills matter but should not displace traditional subjects, supported by distinct arguments about intellectual development, career preparation, and citizenship. Its main limitation is minor repetition rather than any substantial weakness; the highest-priority improvement is to make the comparison with job-specific training more explicit in each body paragraph while preserving the essay’s strong control and organization.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The task is fully addressed with a clear position, three well-developed reasons, relevant examples, and a conclusion that directly reflects the argument.
For further refinement, compare one traditional subject directly with one practical skill to show how a balanced curriculum would work in practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is purposeful, progression is clear, and cohesive devices support the argument without becoming intrusive.
Vary the repeated paragraph openings “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly” with more content-led transitions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, precise, and appropriately academic across education, careers, cognitive skills, culture, and citizenship.
Reduce minor repetition of “subjects” and “students” through selective use of clear substitutes rather than unnecessary synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and naturally, with only rare minor lapses that do not affect communication.
For maximum polish, check optional concision in phrases such as “help students to understand” and maintain parallel lists consistently.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.