Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The curriculum that schools follow has become a matter of great concern as it directly influences the quality of education and learners' future career prospects. Some people opine that academies should focus on job-oriented subjects that prepare pupils for a good career. In this essay, however, I will disagree with this notion, and argue why it is necessary to emphasise traditional subjects, which are just as important as employment-oriented skills.
Schools should continue to prioritize traditional subjects as they offer a well-rounded education that fosters critical thinking, cultural awareness, and foundational knowledge. For instance, subjects like literature, history, and philosophy provide students with a deep understanding of human experiences, ethical considerations, and the evolution of societies. These traditional subjects contribute to the development of analytical skills and help students contextualize contemporary issues. For example, studying historical events allows learners to draw parallels between past and present situations, enabling them to make informed decisions and engage in meaningful discussions about the world around them. A comprehensive education that includes traditional subjects prepares students not only for specific job roles but also equips them with the versatility and adaptability needed in a rapidly changing global landscape.
Moreover, it is essential for students to learn history, arts and similar subjects along with skill-oriented materials. Knowledge of culture and history allows students to become leaders rather than becoming corporate robots. For instance, the contribution of an explorer, leader and social worker is no less than that of a doctor or an engineer.
In conclusion, the primary objective of education is to prepare the young generation to build a better world through their diverse contributions, not just to become money-making machines. This is why arts and history are just as important as skill-related subjects in the national education curriculum.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural reporting verb Original: opine Suggested revision: believe Why it matters: Believe is more natural and direct than the overly formal opine in this context.
- 2. Use the prompt's institution Original: academies Suggested revision: schools Why it matters: Schools accurately refers to the institutions discussed, whereas academies may denote a narrower type.
- 3. Use precise career wording Original: a good career Suggested revision: successful careers Why it matters: Successful careers states the intended employment outcome more precisely and matches the plural pupils.
- 4. Streamline the thesis link Original: notion, and argue why Suggested revision: notion and explain why Why it matters: The revision removes the unnecessary comma and uses a verb suited to introducing the essay's reasoning.
- 5. Use formal example wording Original: subjects like literature Suggested revision: subjects such as literature Why it matters: Such as is a more formal way to introduce examples in an academic essay.
- 6. Use the arts noun phrase Original: history, arts and similar subjects Suggested revision: history, the arts, and similar subjects Why it matters: The arts is the established noun phrase for creative disciplines, and the list benefits from consistent punctuation.
- 7. Name the curriculum items Original: materials Suggested revision: subjects Why it matters: Subjects, rather than materials, are the curriculum elements being compared.
- 8. Keep the complement parallel Original: rather than becoming corporate robots Suggested revision: rather than corporate robots Why it matters: The parallel structure compares becoming leaders with becoming corporate robots without repeating the verb.
- 9. Match plural examples Original: the contribution of an explorer, leader and social worker is Suggested revision: the contributions of explorers, leaders, and social workers are Why it matters: The plural examples require plural contributions and the verb are.
- 10. Use an academic description Original: money-making machines Suggested revision: people focused solely on income Why it matters: The revision preserves the criticism while avoiding an informal and dehumanising metaphor.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: A comprehensive education that includes traditional subjects prepares students not only for specific job roles but also equips them with the versatility and adaptability needed in a rapidly changing global landscape. Suggested revision: A comprehensive education that includes traditional subjects not only prepares students for specific job roles but also equips them with the versatility and adaptability needed in a rapidly changing global landscape. Why it matters: Moving not only creates a parallel pairing between prepares and equips.
Suggested Rewrites
- opine believe
- academies schools
- a good career successful careers
- notion, and argue why notion and explain why
- subjects like literature subjects such as literature
- history, arts and similar subjects history, the arts, and similar subjects
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay takes a clear position and develops a persuasive case that traditional subjects build analytical ability, cultural understanding, and adaptability beyond any single occupation. Its strongest feature is the sustained, well-organised development of the history example; the main limitation is a slightly repetitive second body paragraph and some overly loaded labels. Prioritise using that paragraph to compare traditional learning more directly with job-specific training.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is sustained through relevant, well-developed reasons, though the shorter second body paragraph adds limited new analysis of vocational skills.
Develop a direct comparison showing why adaptable knowledge from traditional subjects remains more valuable than narrowly job-specific training over time.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices support a clear progression from position to explanation and conclusion.
Reduce overlap between the two body paragraphs by assigning each a distinct purpose, such as transferable thinking skills and civic or cultural value.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and precise overall, with effective academic phrasing, although terms such as academies, corporate robots, and money-making machines are less suitable.
Use neutral alternatives such as schools, narrowly trained employees, and preparation solely for employment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only rare minor lapses that do not affect communication.
As a refinement, tighten a few long relative and participle clauses to make the argument more concise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.