In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
In a number of countries, following a vegetarian diet has become very popular. Although being a vegetarian can limit the options when eating, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because it allows the body to work properly.
For vegetarian people it is difficult to find varied options to eat. Since the majority of the worldwide population have a diet that includes animal products, these type of food is the one that is normally available at food businesses. Therefore, people with a vegetarian diet have to choose between a limited number of plates or products when buying food or eating out. For example, in many popular restaurants in Colombia, the menu has only a short vegetarian section which includes only two or three plates that are completely vegetarian. However, I believe that those options that are offered are healthier than plates that are sold in large quantities.
Following a vegetarian diet allows the body to work better. This is because science has shown that when our human system digests animal products, such as meat, it has to work harder to process the food that it is not designed to receive. Thus, people that have a diet based on plants and seeds are more prone to have a healthier life because they allow their bodies to focus their energy in its normal processes. For instance, people who become vegetarian are less prone to get sick because their immune system has all the energy focused on fighting bacteria and not causing chronic inflammation because of the food. That is why I consider that following a vegetarian diet can have more benefits in the long term.
In conclusion, although vegetarian people have fewer options when buying products without animal ingredients, it is my belief that following a vegetarian diet has a positive impact in the body functions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: limit the options when eating Suggested revision: limit dining options Why it matters: This concise collocation expresses the same limitation more naturally.
- 2. Clarify pronoun reference Original: because it allows the body Suggested revision: because such a diet allows the body Why it matters: Naming the diet makes the referent of 'it' explicit.
- 3. Improve opening structure Original: For vegetarian people it is difficult Suggested revision: For vegetarians, it is difficult Why it matters: 'Vegetarians' is the natural noun, and the introductory phrase requires a comma.
- 4. Correct noun phrase Original: varied options to eat Suggested revision: varied food options Why it matters: People find food options rather than 'options to eat'.
- 5. Correct collocation Original: worldwide Suggested revision: world's Why it matters: 'The world's population' is the standard expression for the global population.
- 6. Fix demonstrative agreement Original: these Suggested revision: this Why it matters: The singular noun 'type' requires the singular demonstrative 'this'.
- 7. Use natural expression Original: is the one that is normally available Suggested revision: is what is normally available Why it matters: 'What is normally available' is the natural complement in this clause.
- 8. Use precise noun Original: at food businesses Suggested revision: in food outlets Why it matters: 'Food outlets' is a more natural term for places that sell prepared food.
- 9. Choose correct noun Original: plates Suggested revision: dishes Why it matters: 'Dishes' refers to prepared food choices, whereas 'plates' usually refers to tableware.
- 10. Improve menu phrasing Original: menu has only a short vegetarian section Suggested revision: menu offers only a small vegetarian section Why it matters: A menu 'offers' items, and a section is 'small' rather than 'short'.
- 11. Choose correct noun Original: plates Suggested revision: dishes Why it matters: 'Dishes' is the appropriate word for meal options on a menu.
- 12. Remove wordiness Original: those options that are offered Suggested revision: the options offered Why it matters: The shorter noun phrase preserves the meaning without unnecessary words.
Suggested Rewrites
- limit the options when eating limit dining options
- because it allows the body because such a diet allows the body
- For vegetarian people it is difficult For vegetarians, it is difficult
- varied options to eat varied food options
- worldwide world's
- these this
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear position and straightforward two-part structure, with each side supported by an example. Its main limitation is that the claimed health advantage relies on broad, insufficiently substantiated assertions, which weakens the comparison needed to show why it outweighs the disadvantage. The highest-priority improvement is to build a more credible health argument and explicitly weigh its scale and long-term significance against restricted food choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides and maintains a clear opinion, but the principal advantage is developed through questionable generalisations rather than convincing explanation.
Use a defensible health benefit and directly explain why it is more significant than the practical disadvantage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and logical overall progression, with cohesive devices generally used effectively.
Strengthen the internal progression of the health paragraph by separating the main claim, evidence, and comparative conclusion more clearly.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss diet and health, but recurring imprecise collocations such as 'plates', 'food businesses', and 'impact in the body functions' reduce accuracy.
Use more natural topic vocabulary, such as 'dishes', 'food outlets', and 'an impact on bodily functions', while avoiding repeated wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates meaning clearly, although agreement, determiner, pronoun, and preposition errors recur.
Prioritise subject-verb and noun agreement in phrases such as 'the majority ... has' and 'this type of food'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.