In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
There is an increasing trend for people in some nations to have vegetarian foods for their meals. This essay thinks that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks because although vegetarian diets can reduce carbon footprints, consuming vegetables only may lead to nutritional deficiencies. The main advantage of having a vegetarian diet is that carbon emissions can be reduced. Animal agriculture accounts for a significant portion of carbon footprints because animal feed has to be transported a long way to farmers, and animals release a large amount of carbon dioxide after they eat the feed. For example, a research by the University of Australia found that around 35% of carbon emissions around the world is from animal agriculture, and if everyone eats vegetables, carbon footprint in animal agriculture can be reduced by one third. However, this essay argues that people may not be able to get nutrients which is available only in meats if they solely consume vegetables. One disadvantage is that vegetarian diets may cause nutritional deficiencies. That is because vegetables do not contain nutrients or minerals that are available in meats, and in the long run vegetarian may suffer from diseases caused by nutritional deficiencies. For instance, meats provide minerals such as iron to strengthen the red blood cells. If people do not gain enough iron, their immune systems will be weakened, and in most serious case, brain functions will be impaired. Therefore, this essay believes that a balanced diet with meats and vegetables should be followed. In conclusion, although eating vegetables solely can reduce carbon emissions, unbalanced diets with only vegetables may lead to nutritional deficiency.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: have vegetarian foods for their meals Suggested revision: eat vegetarian food Why it matters: 'Eat vegetarian food' expresses the idea more directly and naturally.
- 2. Avoid illogical attribution Original: thinks Suggested revision: argues Why it matters: An essay can present an argument, whereas 'thinks' attributes a mental process to it.
- 3. Place limiter clearly Original: consuming vegetables only Suggested revision: consuming only vegetables Why it matters: Putting 'only' before 'vegetables' clearly limits what is consumed.
- 4. Improve diet collocation Original: having Suggested revision: following Why it matters: People conventionally 'follow' a diet rather than 'have' one in this context.
- 5. Use countable noun Original: research Suggested revision: study Why it matters: 'Research' is uncountable, while 'a study' correctly follows the article.
- 6. Fix subject agreement Original: 35% of carbon emissions around the world is Suggested revision: 35% of global carbon emissions are Why it matters: The plural noun 'emissions' requires the plural verb 'are'.
- 7. Use hypothetical form Original: eats Suggested revision: ate Why it matters: The past form marks this as a hypothetical condition consistently with 'can be reduced'.
- 8. Use correct relationship Original: carbon footprint in animal agriculture Suggested revision: the carbon footprint of animal agriculture Why it matters: 'Of' correctly expresses that the footprint is produced by the sector.
- 9. Fix plural agreement Original: nutrients which is available Suggested revision: nutrients that are available Why it matters: The plural noun 'nutrients' requires the plural verb 'are'.
- 10. Clarify limiter scope Original: solely consume vegetables Suggested revision: consume only vegetables Why it matters: Placing 'only' before the noun makes clear that vegetables are the sole food.
- 11. Use uncountable form Original: meats Suggested revision: meat Why it matters: Use the uncountable form 'meat' for the food category in general.
- 12. Fix punctuation and number Original: in the long run vegetarian may suffer Suggested revision: in the long run, vegetarians may suffer Why it matters: The introductory phrase needs a comma, and the general subject should be plural.
Suggested Rewrites
- have vegetarian foods for their meals eat vegetarian food
- thinks argues
- consuming vegetables only consuming only vegetables
- having following
- research study
- 35% of carbon emissions around the world is 35% of global carbon emissions are
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response states a clear position and examines one environmental benefit against one health disadvantage, with examples that make the line of argument easy to follow. Its main limitation is oversimplifying vegetarianism as eating only vegetables, which weakens the accuracy and depth of the comparison; prioritise a more nuanced evaluation of varied vegetarian diets while reducing repetition and correcting recurring article, agreement, and plural-form errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is directly answered with a consistent position and developed supporting ideas, though the analysis rests on an overly narrow definition of vegetarianism.
Evaluate realistic vegetarian diets and acknowledge how careful food choices or supplementation affect the claimed nutritional disadvantage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically and linking is generally clear, but the single-block presentation and repeated formulations weaken paragraph-level organisation.
Separate the introduction, advantage, disadvantage, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with less repetitive signalling.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss environmental and nutritional issues, but repetition and several awkward collocations reduce precision.
Use more accurate expressions such as “a study,” “meat,” and “a severe case,” while varying repeated references to vegetables and deficiencies.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used with generally clear meaning, although recurring article, agreement, and singular-plural errors remain noticeable.
Check noun countability and agreement in phrases such as “research,” “nutrients that are,” and “vegetarians may suffer.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.