Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation. Why is this the case? What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people?
Sample Response
Nowadays, modernisation defines how technology can be a powerful tool and this has changed the way young people used to perceive their position in a society. The young group are far more motivated by the technological transformation, thus giving them the power over the past young generations. This essay will discuss some reasons why this is happening in today's world and how this development impacts their relationship with the elder people. To begin with, youngsters are fit for the jobs that require technological soundness. They tend to be curious about the modern changes, therefore they are more likely to adapt to it. Due to this adjustment process, they invest their time learning and applying to institutions that can provide opportunities for them. Furthermore, present young generations are enthusiastic, thus they are more observant with the changes on how this transformation help the society. Second, they are physically fit for the job, since this change results in tons of stressors. Numerous studies show that today's individuals can still be productive with only four to six hours of sleep. Since they invest more of their time with research and discovering new ideas, then they are more capable of handling bigger responsibilities compared to the previous young generations and present older generation. Moreover, past youngsters were more focus on their families and the commitment but this is not the case today. Youngsters are becoming entrepreneurs and using their knowledge to become successful. On the contrary, this transformation may create a negative impact on the relationship between the old and young group. For example, young people may create distant relationships with the old generation, since they know that they are ahead in terms of learning and adapting to change. To conclude, young people are now dominating the technological world and as a result, the old generation is now experiencing less importance. However, youngsters should always respect the elder people and maintain a steady relationship with them for a better society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural reference Original: The young group are Suggested revision: Young people are Why it matters: “Young people” is a more natural collective reference than “the young group.”
- 2. Fix comparison phrase Original: the power over the past young generations Suggested revision: more power than previous generations Why it matters: The revised comparative phrase expresses the intended contrast clearly.
- 3. Use correct adjective Original: with the elder people Suggested revision: with older people Why it matters: “Older people” is the standard phrase for this age group.
- 4. Use precise term Original: soundness Suggested revision: competence Why it matters: “Technological competence” clearly describes the ability to use technology effectively.
- 5. Specify the changes Original: the modern changes Suggested revision: technological changes Why it matters: “Technological” identifies the type of change under discussion more precisely.
- 6. Match plural reference Original: it Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The pronoun should agree with the plural noun “changes.”
- 7. Use natural phrase Original: present young generations Suggested revision: younger generations today Why it matters: The revised phrase is the idiomatic way to refer to current younger generations.
- 8. Correct collocation Original: observant with the changes Suggested revision: aware of changes Why it matters: People are “aware of” changes; “observant with” is not idiomatic here.
- 9. Fix agreement and article Original: this transformation help the society Suggested revision: this transformation helps society Why it matters: The singular subject requires “helps,” and general “society” does not take “the” here.
- 10. Match sequence marker Original: Second Suggested revision: Secondly Why it matters: “Secondly” matches the earlier sequencing expression “To begin with.”
- 11. Use formal wording Original: tons of stressors Suggested revision: considerable stress Why it matters: The revised phrase is more precise and appropriate for formal academic writing.
- 12. Name the group Original: today's individuals Suggested revision: young people today Why it matters: The revision identifies the relevant group instead of using the vague noun “individuals.”
Suggested Rewrites
- The young group are Young people are
- the power over the past young generations more power than previous generations
- with the elder people with older people
- soundness competence
- the modern changes technological changes
- it them
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay identifies technology, adaptability, entrepreneurship, and changing priorities as reasons for young people’s influence, and it recognizes that these shifts can create distance from older generations. Its main limitation is uneven development: the relationship impact receives little analysis, several supporting claims are implausible or unclear, and the response lacks paragraphing. The priority is to develop both questions in separate paragraphs using realistic examples and explicit cause-and-effect reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed, but the reasons are uneven and the impact on intergenerational relationships is only briefly developed through a single negative effect.
Explain two credible causes of increased influence and analyse both a specific tension and a possible positive effect on relationships with older people.
Coherence and Cohesion
A recognizable sequence moves from causes to relationship effects and a conclusion, but the single-block format and loosely connected supporting claims weaken progression.
Use separate introduction, causes, relationship-impact, and conclusion paragraphs, each organized around one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied technology and employment vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and imprecise references reduce clarity.
Use natural phrases such as “technological competence,” “adapt quickly to change,” “spend time on research,” and “become distant from older people.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, prepositions, and clause formation frequently reduce accuracy.
Check agreement and referencing in every sentence, especially plural subjects such as young people, generations, changes, and responsibilities.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation. Why is this the case? What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.