Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation. Why is this the case? What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people?
Sample Response
Irrespective of nationality, location or religion, back in time, the old ones were considered the base of the society. No doubt, nowadays, the roles have exchanged, with the young people becoming more and more powerful and influential.
To begin with, one of the reasons this phenomenon took place is the increasing competitiveness of the modern world. The recent criteria are tougher and tougher, which means that more allotted time by humans is required. While young people tend to invest a lot of their time in things such as academics or work, older people have usually a family and more affairs to deal with. Thus the productivity of young people is higher, resulting in a more implicated and influent generation.
Secondly, the modern environment is in continuous change, which means that people nowadays must adapt quicker and better. As an example, take the accent which is put on multi-disciplinary, lifelong training, or the fact that students are prepared for jobs that do not merely exist yet. All these are supported better by younger people, and the invaluable proof is, for example, the shrewdness with which a child learns how to work on a computer, an action almost impossible for some adults. Considering these abilities of adoption, it becomes obvious why young people tend to occupy more and more important places in society.
Conversely, the young generation may become disrespectful to adults, on the basis of their achievements. The youngster especially may consider that they do not have anything to learn from older people, resulting in a continuous intellectual falling.
Overall, the adaptation capacities alongside with the fact that young people have more time to spend are the main reasons for youngers' power. The consequence may be, unfortunately, quite bad.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard time phrase Original: back in time Suggested revision: in the past Why it matters: “In the past” is the natural phrase for an earlier historical period.
- 2. Use respectful group noun Original: the old ones Suggested revision: older people Why it matters: “Older people” is the natural way to refer to this age group.
- 3. Use correct collocation Original: base of the society Suggested revision: foundation of society Why it matters: “Foundation of society” is the idiomatic metaphor, without an article before society.
- 4. Use correct verb Original: exchanged Suggested revision: reversed Why it matters: Roles reverse when two groups exchange their relative positions.
- 5. Use present trend tense Original: this phenomenon took place Suggested revision: this phenomenon has emerged Why it matters: The present perfect connects the emergence of the trend to the current situation.
- 6. Clarify modern demands Original: The recent criteria Suggested revision: Current expectations Why it matters: “Criteria” does not naturally describe the demands placed on people in modern life.
- 7. Use concise comparison Original: tougher and tougher Suggested revision: increasingly demanding Why it matters: This phrase expresses the intensifying demands more precisely and concisely.
- 8. Use clear active voice Original: more allotted time by humans is required Suggested revision: people must devote more time Why it matters: The active construction identifies who must allocate the time and removes awkward wording.
- 9. Fix adverb position Original: have usually a family Suggested revision: usually have a family Why it matters: The frequency adverb should appear before the main verb “have”.
- 10. Use precise responsibility term Original: more affairs to deal with Suggested revision: more responsibilities to manage Why it matters: “Responsibilities” clearly expresses the obligations intended here.
- 11. Add transition comma Original: Thus the productivity Suggested revision: Thus, the productivity Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory linking adverb.
- 12. Correct adjective choices Original: more implicated and influent generation Suggested revision: more involved and influential generation Why it matters: “Implicated” and “influent” do not express productive participation and social influence correctly.
Suggested Rewrites
- back in time in the past
- the old ones older people
- base of the society foundation of society
- exchanged reversed
- this phenomenon took place this phenomenon has emerged
- The recent criteria Current expectations
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear progression through two plausible reasons, supported by relevant discussion of adaptability and productivity. Its main limitation is the very brief treatment of the effect on intergenerational relationships, while frequent awkward word choices reduce precision; the highest priority is to develop that second part with a fuller causal explanation and a specific example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are addressed, and the reasons are developed more fully than the limited discussion of the impact on relationships.
Develop the intergenerational impact through a clear causal chain and a concrete example rather than one brief assertion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with generally effective linking despite some mechanical transitions.
Use less formulaic signposting and make the shift from causes to consequences more explicitly connected.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prioritize natural collocations, replacing awkward expressions with precise terms such as influence, adaptation, and generational decline.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence forms is used, though recurring article, agreement, and word-form errors remain noticeable.
Proofread complex sentences for articles, noun forms, and agreement so that grammatical control is more consistent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation. Why is this the case? What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.