Nowadays shopping has become a new favorite pastime for young people. What are the reasons for this? should they be encouraged to develop other hobbies?
Sample Response
People’s approach toward hobbies is changing dramatically. At present, shopping as a hobby is becoming popular, especially among young peoplein youngsters. Indeed, shopping outlets’ servicesshopping outlet’s services and lucrative offers play a key roleare playing a key to pursue shopping as a hobby. However, shopping as a hobby is supposed not only for needless shopping but also expected of waste of time of individuals.
To begin with, there are numerous reasons why people are choosing shopping as a leisure activity. Firstly, nowadays shopping malls offer various services which are attracting people enormously. Facilities like children’s play areassection, cafés and restaurantscafé, and restaurants can be used for recreational activities. For instance, a recent report reveals that the majority of youngsters are more likely to acquire shopping as a leisure activity because stores and shopping outlets providebecause of stores and shopping outlets are providing myriad services where they can easily spend their time. Secondly, onlinecommercial and in-person shopping are offering lucrative discounts throughout the yearall over the year; therefore, in order to acquire these products at low prices, people always monitor these websites and storesobserve these sites and stores. Consequently, they develop shopping as a hobby by spending a great deal of time on this activityengaging lots of time in this approach.
Nevertheless, shopping is becoming an enriching hobby for many individuals; it is also increasing unnecessary shoppingincreasing the needless shopping. It is generally true that frequent visits to shopsfrequent visit at shopping stores can compel people to buy things which they do not needare not in use for them in general. Unnecessary shopping affects people’s income, but companies benefit fromare benefitted with this activity. Apart from that, many people experienced shopping as a hobby is a waste of time because they considered that without purchasing any single item from shops by regular visiting can lead to time consuming activity. Furthermore, as shopping as a hobbyshopping hobby does not play an active role in the development of human beings as other activitiesactivity such as reading books, which increasesreading books that increases the knowledge of people, thus other hobbies should be promoted.
To sum up, hobbies vary from time to time and nowadays shopping is gaining vast popularity. People especially youngstersyoungster choose shopping as a hobby because of various reasons such as stores’ servicessuch store’s services and attractive deals. However, it is considered that shopping as a hobby does not have positive outcomeshas not positive outcomes as compared to other activities so people should be encouraged to pursue other hobbies instead of shopping.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly covers both parts of the task and maintains a consistent view that young people should pursue more beneficial hobbies. Its main limitation is that supporting points are sometimes repetitive or expressed through awkward, imprecise language, which weakens development and readability. The highest priority is to explain each main idea with a precise cause-and-effect chain while improving sentence-level grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear position and relevant reasons, although some support remains general or repetitive.
Develop each reason with a specific explanation of how it leads young people toward shopping or makes another hobby preferable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear paragraph structure and broadly logical progression, but some linking is mechanical and several sentences connect ideas awkwardly.
Use simpler internal transitions and ensure each sentence advances one clear stage of the paragraph's argument.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prioritize natural combinations such as take up shopping, visit shopping centres, and spend time rather than forcing less familiar expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, word forms, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Check every sentence for a complete clause structure and consistent subject-verb agreement before adding complex modifiers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays shopping has become a new favorite pastime for young people. What are the reasons for this? should they be encouraged to develop other hobbies?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.