The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.
Sample Response
The two pie charts compare the percentages of online sales across different retail sectors in Canada in the years 2005 and 2010. Across the four sectorsFor three of the sectors, it is evident that over this time frame there were significant changesthere was significant change in their proportion of online transactions.
At 35%,At 35% we can see that the electronics and appliance sectorelectronics and appliance sector accounted for the largest share of online salesthe majority of online sales in 2005, but this percentage had dropped to 30% by 2010. During the same five-year period, as an increasing number of people chose to purchase food and beverage online, we can see that transactions went from just 22% to 32%, making it the retail sector with the largest overall proportion of the online market.
In 2005, the home furnishing industry accounted forboasted an impressive 25% of the total online sales in Canada. However, by 2010, the figure had fallen considerably to 15%. Interestingly, online sales of video games had overtakeneventually overtook sales of home furnishings, with video games representingalthough video games still represented only 23% of the market.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is concise, accurate, and easy to follow, with all four sectors described and the main changes supported by correct figures. Its main limitation is the vague overview, which does not clearly identify the shift from electronics and appliances to food and beverages or mention video games’ rise. Prioritise a sharper overview that names the two most important overall changes before presenting detailed data.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All four sectors are covered accurately with relevant figures, but the overview gives only a vague indication of change.
State the dominant shift and the main rises and falls explicitly in the overview.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the overview to well-grouped details, with cohesive links used naturally.
Make the overview-to-detail transition even clearer by grouping the rising sectors separately from the declining ones.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise range of vocabulary describes proportions and changes effectively, with only slight imprecision such as calling 35% a majority.
Use exact terms such as largest share when a figure is below half.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are handled accurately throughout, with only occasional minor article or noun-form lapses.
Refine noun phrases such as the electronics and appliances sector to maintain consistently polished accuracy.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.