The diagram below shows the steps of processing cocoa beans.
Sample Response
The givenyielded diagram demonstrates the processing of cocoa beans.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that this process is divided into three steps from collecting beans their distributionto distribute them to consumers.
In the first step, the process begins with pickup whole beans from the field later differ from their shells and dry under sunlight. In the next step, the dried beans are pressedpressing dried beans to produceand make cocoa liquor. The next stage of the process is divided into two branchesparts. With further pressingIf it was pressing further, cocoa liquor produces cocoa and cocoa cakeit makes cocoa and cocoa cake, whereas the other branch produceswhereas another is that industrial chocolatechocolates after further refining, with sugar and cocoa addedafter refining and adding sugar and cocoa.
I’m the last and third step, after griding cocoa cake, it makes cocoa powder which also makes from industrial cakes drinks. At the end of this branchIn the following stage, cocoa powder is distributedcocoa powder distributes to consumers. Further processing ofon industrial chocolateindustrial chocolate output produces finished chocolate productsis chocolate products that go straight to consumers.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response recognises the three broad stages and follows both main branches through to consumer products, so the overall process can be reconstructed. However, frequent grammatical and word-choice errors make several relationships unclear, especially the route from cocoa and cocoa powder to industrial cakes and drinks; the slight shortfall in length also limits detail. Prioritise accurate passive process sentences and clarify each branch step by step.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main sequence and product branches are largely covered, but some relationships are unclear and the response is slightly under length.
Explain explicitly that cocoa liquor splits into further pressing and refining, then trace each resulting product to its final destination.
Coherence and Cohesion
The staged paragraph structure supports basic progression, although linking and referencing within the body are often awkward or unclear.
Use a consistent sequence such as “first,” “after this,” “the process then divides,” and “finally” for each distinct stage.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate process vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate choices and formations such as “yielded,” “pickup,” and “griding” reduce precision.
Use accurate forms including “given diagram,” “picking,” “separated from their shells,” and “grinding.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in verb forms, sentence construction, articles, and passive structures sometimes make meaning difficult to follow.
Build each stage with a controlled passive pattern, for example, “The beans are picked, shelled, dried, and then pressed.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the steps of processing cocoa beans.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.