The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates 16 typical stagesa representative 16 stages of consumer-goods productionproduction of goods for the consumers, including the manufacturing flowwhich includes embracing the process of flow of manufacture and feedback to enable possible adjustmentsthe possible adjustment.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the chart that there are ten stages in this process and six feedback links that enable adjustments to earlier stagessix stages for adjustment in the process as a feedback process. The process beginsWe are beginning the process with raw materialswith the raw material, manufactured components and product researchResearch and culminatesCulminating in sales.
To begin, according to the flow manufacturing process, firstly raw material and manufactured components are stored in one place, which is called storage, and the next stage is a production planning, which includes product research and follows with design, then get back to the third stage of the previous stage. After the planning, the process then moves to the next stagethe production then turns in the fifth stage, assembly, after which the goods are transferred to the inspection stageassembly following this good transferred into inspection stage. Afterwards, when the work is completed then passed in the testing point, which goods are checked and tested in a good manner. In the subsequent stage, goods move to packaginggo with the packaging, which is followed by the dispatching stage. Finally, the goods are successfully despatched for salesuccessfully dispatched and ready for sales which isare considered the final stage.
However, there are a few steps of information feedback, in the information-feedback flowaccording to the next process inflow of information feedback. Firstly, the production planning should be replaced with the storage stage and would be adjusted with the sale stage would at first, and the sales step should be adjusted with the production planning and with market research as earlier feedback, then market research needs to be adjusted with two packagings and advertising. Meanwhile, the stage of testing and market research feed information back to designshould be changed with design as feedback in the manufacturing process of goods.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully traces most of the main manufacturing sequence and separates that flow from the feedback system. Its principal weakness is that several feedback links are described as stages being replaced or changed, which obscures the diagram's actual relationships, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors further reduce clarity. Prioritise describing each arrow accurately with short, controlled sentences, especially the links from sales, testing, and market research.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and most main production stages are included, but the design input and several feedback connections are inaccurately or confusingly reported.
Trace each arrow from its source to destination and distinguish manufacturing stages from information-feedback links.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the main process from feedback, but overloaded sentences and imprecise referencing make progression difficult in places.
Use one sentence for each small group of linked stages and make every pronoun or reference explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response uses some process vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations such as 'adjusted with' and 'testing point' weaken precision.
Use standard process phrases such as 'feeds back to,' 'leads to,' and 'is followed by.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but frequent agreement, article, clause, and sentence-boundary errors often disrupt readability.
Build shorter complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs before combining them into complex structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.
Your response
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