The diagram below gives the information about the Hawaiian island chain in the centre of the Pacific Ocean.
Sample Response
The Hawaiian island chain, in the centre of the Pacific Ocean, is approximately 2,700 km longapproximately 2,700 km in length. It is formed through volcanic activityformed of volcanoes and the youngest active volcanoesthe active ones are at the south-east tip of the archipelago, where Hawaii itself is located. The diagram indicates thatIt is believed that the chain began to form nearly 80 million years ago. Each island begins to formEach island started to evolve after repeated eruptions on the ocean flooran eruption on the sea floor. First, a ‘hot spot’`hot spot’ existed on the ocean bed, which releasedlet out a plume of material called magma. This magma originatesmay originate as deep as 2,883km below the ocean bed. Next, further eruptions taketook place, which built up the volcano. Eventually, the volcano emergesit emerged above the surface of the ocean. Since that time, the magma plumespume of magma has remained static as the Pacific tectonic plate moves in a north-west direction across it at a speed of 7-9cm per year. As it moves, a volcano forms as it passes over the hotspot and then becomesbecome inactive after the plate has carried it beyond the hot spotwhen it has passed it.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives an accurate, detailed account of both the Hawaiian chain and the volcanic formation process, using precise technical vocabulary and a clear chronological sequence. The main weakness is presentation: the entire account appears as one paragraph, which obscures the distinction between the broad overview and the process stages. Divide the response into an overview and logically grouped detail paragraphs while correcting the isolated agreement error.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The key geographical context, stationary hot spot, plate movement, eruption sequence, depth, speed, and age are reported accurately and comprehensively.
Make the overall mechanism explicit in a separate overview by linking the stationary hot spot to the moving Pacific plate and successive islands.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account follows a clear sequence and uses temporal links effectively, but the single-paragraph format limits structural clarity.
Separate the chain overview from the step-by-step formation process and the explanation of plate movement.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise topic vocabulary, including 'archipelago', 'magma', 'tectonic plate', and 'hot spot', is used effectively.
Maintain this precision while preferring standard terms such as 'plume of magma' consistently throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are handled with strong control, and nearly all sentences are error-free.
Correct the isolated agreement error by writing that a volcano 'becomes inactive' after passing the hot spot.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below gives the information about the Hawaiian island chain in the centre of the Pacific Ocean.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.