The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055.
Sample Response
The given pie charts demonstrate two countries, Oman and Spain populations which are divided into three categories by ages in 2005 and forecasted it for 2055.
Overall, in both countries older people’s pollution was higher than other age groups additionally, it is predicted that it will continue till 2055.
For Oman, the age between 1 to 14 years and above 60 years population in 2005 was coincidently same on account of 48%, only 4% 14 to 59 years people. Moreover, the prediction is thatprediction is that after a half-century the proportion of young peopleyouths number will drop and the proportion of older peopleolder people number will risejump up dramatically, we can see an 11-percentage-point fallnearly a tenth percentage slip in 0 to 14 years group whereas, the 60-plus share will rise by nine percentage pointsthe same percentage will rise in 60 plus categories, for the 15–59 age groupfor both categories middle age, the population will stand at 6%.
For Spain, 24%roughly a quarter proportion was for 15- to 59-year-olds15 to 59 years old citizen while 14% was for 0 to 14 years, the largest sharethe majority of percentage was for over 60 years, it was 62%. It is predicted thatIt predicts that in 2055, the 15–59 age group15 to 59 age categories layman will rise by 18 percentage pointswill grow a fifth. However, the proportions of the 0–14 and 60-plus groups will fallthe number of 0 to 14 and 60 plus years group mankind fall and will account for 12% and 46%will have 12% and 46% respectively.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response covers both countries and both years, and most numerical values are reported accurately. However, the overview is imprecise and partly misleading, while frequent unsuitable word choices and grammatical errors make several comparisons difficult to process. The highest priority is to state the main age-distribution changes clearly, then express each comparison in a complete sentence using accurate population vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Nearly all percentages and projected changes are included accurately, but the overview wrongly suggests that the oldest group was uniquely largest in both countries and gives no clear comparative projection.
State that Oman begins with equal youngest and oldest shares, Spain is dominated by over-60s, and both populations are projected to age further by 2055.
Coherence and Cohesion
Separate country paragraphs provide a basic logical structure, but long comma-linked sentences and unclear referencing weaken progression within them.
Present each country's starting distribution first and its projected changes second, using shorter sentences with explicit age-group subjects.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied language, but frequent inaccurate choices such as 'pollution,' 'layman,' 'mankind,' and 'tenth percentage' seriously reduce precision.
Use consistent terms such as 'population,' 'age group,' 'percentage points,' 'rise,' and 'fall' rather than forced synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, plural forms, and verb construction make several clauses difficult to read despite some attempted complexity.
Build complete subject-verb sentences for each comparison and check noun plurals and verb agreement systematically.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055.
Your response
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