The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from.
Sample Response
The given line graph showsillustrates information on the number of overseas visitors traveling to Australia in millionsin millions of people. Overall, one notable trend seems to be that Australia has steadily become more popular as a destinationdestination spot. For example, there were 20 million more visitors to Australia in 2005 than in 1975. That’s a jump from 10 million to 30 million over 30 yearsin 20 years. The tableThe second table gives statistics showing the countries whose residents went to Australia between 1975 and 2005. In both years, the largest number of visitors came from Japan, followed by South Korea and Europe. Britain, the United States and China also also contributed substantial numbers of visitorshad many people traveling to Australia in these years. In fact, the number of people visiting Australia grew from each of these countriesin every one of these countries. For example, in 2005, 12 million visitors came from Japanpeople went there from Japan compared with only 3.2 million in 1975. Delete(147 words)
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly communicates the overall rise in visits and correctly identifies Japan, South Korea, and Europe as the leading sources. Its main weakness is inaccurate reporting of the total change and time span, alongside limited supporting detail from the table. The highest-priority improvement is to verify every date and figure against the visual and include a broader set of precise comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main upward trend and leading countries are identified, but the total figures and duration are inaccurate and several countries receive no precise comparison.
Report the change from 8.8 million in 1975 to 30.4 million in 2005 and add selected figures for more countries.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account follows a generally clear sequence from the overall trend to country data, but it is presented as one continuous paragraph.
Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons and group related country figures within a focused body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of generally accurate language for trends, rankings, and numerical comparison, with only minor imprecision.
Prefer concise academic wording such as 'destination' and 'visitors from' instead of more conversational expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied and mostly accurate, with clear control of comparative and time expressions.
Maintain the formal register by avoiding contractions and check prepositions in descriptions of origin and destination.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.