The graphs below show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Sample Response
The pie charts illustrate the changes in household spending in the UK between 1971 and 2001. It is clear that foodthe cost of petrol made up the largest proportion of the household spending in 1971 while expenditure on cars was the largestgreatest share of the household spending in 2001.
In 1971Firstly, British citizens spent 10% of their money on petrolmore than a third of their money on petrol and 9% on furniturealmost a third on furniture followed by money spent in restaurants, which was 7%precisely a quarter. The smallest share of expenditureproportion of expenditures was the spendingcost on computers with only 2%seven percent in 1971.
In 2001, 30 years laterSecondly, after 30 years in 2001, British citizens spent slightly less on petrol and furniture but twice as much on restaurantssignificantly less money on petrol, furniture and restaurants- 8%, 8%, 14% respectively. In comparison to 1971, they spent six times as much on computersnearly double on computers. The greatest proportion of household spending was on cars at 43%with more than 40%. The proportion of expenditure on food wasexpenditure on foods were 14% and that on books wasand for books it was the smallest sharevanishingly small, only one percent in 2001.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is clearly organised by year and communicates the 2001 distribution reasonably well, especially the dominance of spending on cars. However, its account of 1971 is fundamentally inaccurate: food, rather than petrol, was the largest category, and several other percentages are greatly overstated. The highest priority is to verify every selected figure against the charts and build the overview around the true shift from food to cars.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The 2001 figures are mostly accurate, but the overview and almost every reported 1971 figure contradict the chart, substantially weakening task achievement.
Correct the 1971 data and highlight the central change from food at 44% in 1971 to cars at 43% in 2001.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, overview, and year-by-year progression, though 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' create somewhat mechanical links.
Group the details around the largest changes and use comparative links that show relationships between the two years.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, but several collocations, including 'cost on computers' and 'proportion of expenditures,' are awkward.
Prefer natural combinations such as 'spending on computers,' 'expenditure on food,' and 'accounted for.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is generally controlled, with occasional agreement and punctuation errors that do not impede meaning.
Improve plural agreement and punctuation in lists, particularly in constructions such as 'the proportions ... were 14% and 1%.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs below show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.