The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at west park Secondary school since its construction in 1950.
Sample Response
The diagrams illustrate the changes that have taken placethe establishment that has been made at West Park Secondary Schoolwest park Secondary school since its construction in 1950.
Overall, it is seen that in 1980 there have been additional developed areas constructed which is continuing in 2010, also Deletefor the betterment of the secondary school.
The main road wasmain roads are present in 1950, 1980 and 2010. In 1950, houses were presentIn 1950 houses was built and these were replaced by a car park and science block in 1980but the car park was constructed in 1980. The School area consisted of two sections:was built into two sections the main buildingmain building and the science block in 1980. Whereas playground area is same in both the years, however, in place of farmland, sports field established.
In 2010, the school buildingsarea remained unchangedwas as it is. HoweverBut, the car parkcar park area was substantially enlargedwas doubled, and the sports field and playground areas were both reducedthe sports field area was reduced, along with the playground area. However, the changes in the 2010 building are quite different than in the 1950 school.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response follows the three dates in a generally sensible order and mentions several important changes, including the new science block, sports field, and enlarged car park. Its main weakness is a vague overview, compounded by imprecise descriptions and frequent grammatical errors; the priority is to summarise the dominant transformation clearly, then compare each major land-use change in accurate, complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Several relevant changes are reported, but the overview is vague, some descriptions are imprecise, and the response falls slightly below the minimum length.
State that houses and farmland were replaced by school facilities and that the car park later expanded as the sports field and playground shrank.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological paragraph structure is helpful, although progression is weakened by fragments and awkward or inaccurate linking expressions.
Use complete sentences and straightforward time comparisons instead of starting clauses with connectors such as Whereas, But, and However.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers basic map features, but repetition and unsuitable choices such as establishment, betterment, and doubled area limit precision.
Use precise change verbs and map phrases such as replaced, converted into, remained unchanged, expanded, and reduced in size.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors with agreement, articles, tense, clause construction, and comparison forms reduce accuracy, though the main meaning usually remains accessible.
Prioritise complete past-tense sentences with correct subjects and articles, such as houses were replaced and the playground remained unchanged.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at west park Secondary school since its construction in 1950.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.