The table below shows the worldwide market share of the notebook computer market for manufacturers in the years 2006, 2007 and 2014.
Sample Response
The table compares the market sharespercentages of market share by laptop manufacturersdifferent laptop brands in three different years – 2006, 2007 and 2014. A glance at the tablegraph reveals that HP was the leading notebook manufacturer in all three yearsin these years. As can be seen in the table, HP had the largest notebook market sharemarket share of laptops in 2006 and it retained the top position in 2007 and 2014 as well with around one-third of the total market. Dell ranked secondsecured the second position with 16.6% market share in 2006 and increased by 9.52 percentage points by 2014enjoyed a 10% increase in 2014. Samsung had only an 11.6% share of the laptop marketonly 11.6% share of laptop market in 2006 but this brand managed to capture over 14% of the global market by 2014capture over 14% global market share in 8 years. All the top three laptop manufacturersbrands of laptop manufacturing increasedhad been able to increase their market share except Samsung in 2007. Toshiba and Lenovo had notebook market shares of around 6%around 6 percent notebook market share in 2006 and in 8 years their market sharesshare increased slightly. Fujitsu held the lowest market shareThe lowest market share was possessed by Fujitsu in 2006 and after 8 years its market share declined slightly to 3.1%slightly declined and reached to 3.1%. All other brands captured a significant market share in 2006 (22.8%) but only 7.11% in 2014.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and accurately selects most major trends, including HP’s dominance and the sharp decline for other manufacturers. Its main weaknesses are the imprecise description of Dell’s change as a 10% increase and several awkward grammatical or lexical choices. Prioritise distinguishing percentage-point changes from percentage increases, then organise the details into clear comparison paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate selection of key trends are provided, though Dell’s change is described imprecisely.
State whether changes are in percentage points or percentages and compare the most significant movements directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the market leader to smaller brands, but the entire report forms one dense block.
Separate the overview from grouped detail paragraphs and use comparison-led grouping rather than a brand-by-brand sequence.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, although several collocations about market share and manufacturing are awkward.
Use natural phrases such as market share rose, accounted for, and laptop manufacturer more consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms communicates the data clearly, but article, tense, and preposition errors recur.
Review tense consistency and constructions such as rose to rather than reached to.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the worldwide market share of the notebook computer market for manufacturers in the years 2006, 2007 and 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.