You want to start your own business. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter: - tell him/her about your business? - explain why you think it is a good idea? - ask him/her for some help or advice?
Sample Response
Dear Guri, How are you? It’s not been so long since we’ve talked with each other. You’ll be thrilled to know that I’ve decided to run my own business probably next monthmost probably in the next month.
Let me tell you that I planI’ve planned to open anmy art academy. It will be designedhas been designed to cater for the needs of people of all ages whoall age groups, who are interested in learningwill be keen to learn dance, painting, creative writing, among other activitiesand to name but a few. The charges for the academy’s coursesabove-mentioned programme are reasonable. It will run into two sessions. Morning and evening.
Moreover, it will help me become financially independentassist me in becoming independent financially and give meas well as I shall have a golden opportunity to feel less lonelyremove my loneliness by meeting people from different culturespeople belonging to different cultures. Besides, learnersyoung learners can use their free timeavail their recreational time productivelyin an effective way.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents the proposed art academy clearly and gives several relevant reasons why it could benefit both the writer and learners. However, it is under length, ends abruptly, and completely omits the request for help or advice; the highest-priority improvement is to add a developed final section asking the friend for specific support, followed by a suitable closing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The business and its benefits are explained, but the help-or-advice bullet is omitted and the under-length letter is visibly incomplete.
Add a specific request for advice or practical help and finish with an appropriate friendly closing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are grouped into sensible paragraphs and progress from the announcement to details and benefits, although the response stops before completing its purpose.
Use a final paragraph to connect the business rationale to the exact assistance being requested.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss the academy and its benefits, but several expressions are awkward or inaccurate.
Replace phrases such as ‘run into two sessions’, ‘remove my loneliness’, and ‘avail their recreational time’ with natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms with generally clear meaning, but fragments and awkward clause construction reduce control.
Turn fragments such as ‘Morning and evening’ into complete sentences and proofread relative clauses and coordination.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You want to start your own business. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter:
- tell him/her about your business?
- explain why you think it is a good idea?
- ask him/her for some help or advice?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.