In many countries, sports and exercises classes are replaced with the academic subjects. Discuss the effects of this trend.
Sample Response
Sport is an important constituent of education at schoolsschool and universities. However, there has been a dramatic shiftthere is a dramatic shift away from this practicein this trend in some developing countries over the last few years. The authorities concerned claim that lengthy syllabusessyllabus, competitive learning and academicstudies pressure are the main obstacles that reducehindrances that mitigate students’ interest in pursuing sportstudent interest to pursue in this field. I think this is not a good practice to followexercise; children should be provided with opportunitieschildren should provide opportunities to participate in physical activities that would help them relaxhelp them in relaxing and developing skills such as leadership, teamwork and handling pressure. Sports play a pivotal role in health and could significantly contribute to developingcontribute towards achieving otherothers skills that are also important for a successful person. For instance, lack of these activities will make people lethargic and they will become more susceptible to diseases such as obesity and laziness. Furthermore, it is also seen that students without these activities are more restlesshyper and violent in their attitudes; thisattitudes, this will lead to severe problems in societyin the society. Nowadays, students have to perform exceptionally well in order to compete in their peer group. That increased panic, tension and un-relaxing conditions. Therefore, exercise is one waya one way that can reduce their study-related stressstudies woes and help them to relax and reenergize for their future studies. In addition to this, students who are good at sportsgood in sports activities can pursue sport as a careeradopt it as their future career. To sum up, I would like to say that eliminating sports activities from school curriculum would have dire consequences on students and society. We would be less likelywould less likely to produce players for our nation teams. Apart from that students' mental health negatively affect with the absence of sports.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear stance and identifies several relevant consequences of removing sports, particularly for health, stress, social behaviour, and future sporting opportunities. Its main limitation is that these effects are asserted rather than convincingly developed, while frequent awkward wording and grammatical errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to organise the effects into distinct paragraphs and explain each through a clear cause-and-result chain.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the requested effects with a clear negative position and several relevant ideas, though support is often general or brief.
Develop two or three principal effects with precise explanations and realistic examples instead of listing additional consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a broadly logical sequence and linking words mark relationships, but the single-paragraph structure and some abrupt sentence connections weaken progression.
Separate the introduction, grouped effects, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with one controlling idea in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss education, health, and social effects, but recurring collocation and word-choice errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Prioritise accurate common collocations such as academic pressure, national teams, and pursue a sporting career over less secure ambitious wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the message, although agreement, articles, sentence boundaries, and passive constructions are frequently inaccurate.
Proofread every clause for a complete subject-verb structure and correct agreement, especially in the final sentences and passive forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, sports and exercises classes are replaced with the academic subjects. Discuss the effects of this trend.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.