A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Animal rightsThe animal right has been a controversial issue since the onset of industrialisationever since the dawn of industrialisation. Some argue that animals deserve to be treated the same way as humans, while others contend that humans must employ animals to fulfil their numerous needs. Both points of viewviews will be analysed in this essay before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
On the one hand, fair treatment of animals appears to be morally rightthe moral thing to do. For example, animal rights activists groups have repeatedly conductedperformed studies that demonstrate that animals, when subjected to macabre conditions inof slaughterhouses and laboratories, feel painfeel the pain in the same waymanner as human beings. Since most peoplehumans would never support the idea of inflicting such pain on other peopletheir fellow human beings, it is only fair that animals should also be spared from this torment. When looking at this side of the argument, it is obvious why some support this stance.
On the other hand, many people opine that animals should be exploited to fulfilin order to fulfil a number of human needs, including foodhuman needs including food and research activities. Take pharmaceutical industry, for example, if humans stop testing drugs on animals to ensure their safety for subsequent human use, fatal damage could be caused to human beings as a result of using unsafe medicines. As without such medicines, the life expectancy of humans can fall dramatically, it is understandable why this point of view has garnered support.
Although both sides of this argument have valid argumentsindisputable virtues, it is felt that animal exploitation should only be upheld for medical research purposes. It is hoped thatIt is hoped, that animal sufferingsufferings in laboratoriesin the laboratories will be minimised in the future.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear ethical contrast, supported by a relevant explanation of why medical research may justify limited animal use. Its main limitation is that the qualified position appears only in the conclusion, leaving the writer’s stance on food and other forms of exploitation underexplained. Prioritise stating the nuanced thesis in the introduction and developing the principle that distinguishes essential medical testing from unacceptable uses.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response explores both perspectives and reaches a clear qualified conclusion, but the precise position is delayed and its implications for non-medical uses are not fully developed.
State from the outset that only essential medical research is justified, then explain explicitly why food or other exploitation does not meet the same threshold.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure creates a clear progression from opposing views to a conclusion, although some signposting is formulaic and one example sentence is overloaded.
Divide the pharmaceutical example into shorter logical steps so the relationship between testing, safety, and human health is easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic-specific and less common vocabulary, though occasional inaccurate forms and overstrong word choices reduce precision.
Use natural forms such as “animal rights activist groups,” “suffering,” and “unsafe medicines can seriously harm people.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, but errors in plurals, articles, punctuation, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Revise the pharmaceutical example to avoid the comma splice and correct phrases such as “points of view” and “the pharmaceutical industry.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.