Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. Blood sports should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Killing animals for sport was one ofwas the one of the main forms of entertainmentmain entertainments in earlier societiesthe old society. Despite the fact that civilization continuous in the world, it remains very popular and does not do anything good against killing the helpless animals for fun. I believe that these kinds of activities are cruel and uncultured and shouldcruel and uncultured, should be stopped. To begin, the blood sports are cruel and inhumane because of the way they treat the animalsit treated the animals. Many of these games resultresulted in prolonged sufferingsufferings and death of the animals involvedanimals involved in. For an instance, animals or birds involved bull- fighting or cock -fighting often left to suffer from pain and dehydration until the last minutes of the game. In addition to this, there is an argument that people who enjoy and participate in these games reinforceare reinforcing their violent and unkind behaviours, because these activities are aggressive and hurtfulas it is aggressive and hurtful. Studies which show the link between watching violent video games and children’s aggressive behaviourchildren’s atrocious behaviours in schools and homes can be a case in point. However, in several countries blood sports are a part of their culture and religious ceremonies; and these traditions have been passed down through generationsit has been transferred through the generations. Furthermore, many believemany have the opinion that animals are incapable of expressing feelings as humans do and it is acceptable to use them for fun and a source of incomea money source. In, there are both positive and negative arguments related to the banning of blood sports, and it is very obvious that the positives outweigh the negatives. In spite of the culture and entertainment, torturing animals isare inhumane and must be banned in societybanned from the society. LivingSince, living in a civilized world, human beings need to show more compassion and love towards their fellow creatures.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The clearest strength is a consistent opposition to blood sports, supported by relevant points about animal suffering and the possible reinforcement of violent behaviour. The main limitation is uneven development: the cultural counterargument is introduced but not meaningfully evaluated, while the final reasoning becomes ambiguous. The priority is to organise the response into distinct paragraphs and develop each claim with precise explanation before drawing an unambiguous conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear general position and offers relevant reasons, although some support is only partly developed and the conclusion contains ambiguous wording.
Evaluate the cultural counterargument directly and state clearly why animal welfare concerns justify the proposed ban.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall sequence from position to reasons, counterarguments, and conclusion is recognizable, but the single-paragraph format and faulty linking weaken progression.
Divide the essay into purposeful paragraphs and use each transition to show the precise relationship between adjacent ideas.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to discuss cruelty, culture, and behaviour, but inaccurate word forms and collocations repeatedly reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate common combinations such as prolonged suffering, cultural tradition, and source of income before attempting less familiar expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence forms, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and clause construction make several sentences awkward.
Build complete clause structures and check subject-verb agreement and verb forms systematically during revision.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. Blood sports should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.