It is generally acknowledged that families are now not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.
Sample Response
It is widely debated whetherThere is much discussion nowadays as to whether or not the relationship between family members is as close as before. SeveralDiverse contributing factors can be identified. In the following discussionIn the following, I would like to present my point of view.
Great changes have taken place in family life along with the development of society. One of them is that the once-common extended familyonce-extended family has tended to become smallertends to become smaller and smaller. Many children have to leave their parents at an early age to study or work elsewhere. Over timeAs time passes, children become emotionally estranged from their parents.
Compared with the past, competition in societysocial competition is becoming increasingly fierce. People are urged to concentrate their efforts on their workworks so that they can achieve success or at least a good standard of living. As a result, they can’t afford to spend their free timeleisure hours with their families. The importance of bonds of kinship is gradually fading from their minds.
In addition, the availability of various kinds of recreational facilities also diverts people from enjoying chats with the members of their families. Their free time is mostly occupied by watching TV, surfing the Internet or playing video games. They come to lose interest in communicating with the other members of their families. In view of such alienation within families, urgent steps must be taken, in my opinion. For members of families who live away from one another, regular contact on the phone can bring them the care that they need. Family reunions on holidays or other important occasions can make a difference as well. For those living together, it is a good idea to take some time off work or recreational activitiesrecreation periods to spend more time with each other.
In the final analysis, a close family relationship can surely be maintained as long as we realise the significant role it plays in our lives and we attach importance to it.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly answers both parts of the task with a well-organised set of plausible causes and practical remedies, supported by clear explanation. Its main limitation is that the solutions are developed more briefly than the causes, and the shift to remedies occurs within the preceding paragraph. The best refinement is to give the solutions their own paragraph and explain how each would rebuild regular emotional connection.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The causes and solutions are both addressed directly, with relevant ideas that are clearly explained and supported throughout.
Extend the solution section by explaining the specific effect of each proposed action on family closeness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through distinct causes to remedies and a conclusion, although the final cause and solution discussion are combined in one paragraph.
Begin a separate solutions paragraph to make the change from diagnosis to response even clearer.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective expressions for social change and family alienation despite a few slightly unnatural choices.
Refine occasional collocations such as concentrate on their work and take time away from recreation for more idiomatic precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few minor slips do not interfere with communication.
Maintain this control while tightening a few long sentences so that every modifier and clause has an unmistakable reference.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is generally acknowledged that families are now not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.