Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?
Sample Response
Nowadays the number of overweight people is constantly increasing. This essay will discuss the main causesreasons of this epidemic and then describe the possible effects of the problem.
In my opinion, the foremost causes of obesity are an inactive lifestyle and unhealthy eating habitsare inactive lifestyle and unhealthy eating habits. Today more and more people rely on cars instead of walking, have fewerless physical demands at work and prefer sedentaryinactive leisure activities. This results in burning fewerless calories and gaining weight. Moreover, the problem is exacerbatedaccentuated by the growing number of people who eat irregularlypeople, who eat irregularly and consume large portions of high-calorie food. For example, about 50% of the adult population in Europe with so-called disordered eating suffer from obesity.
The possible effects of this problem include health problemsphysical health problems and loss of productivity. First of all, obesity causes impaired functioningresults in incorrect functioning of the human body and increases the riskcontributes to the risk of developing some chronic illnesses. For example, as a person’s body-fat percentage increasesas body fat percentage increases, athe person’s metabolism becomes less efficientworsens, which in turn may result in diabetes or heart diseasediseases. Secondly, overweight people are in poor healthvery unhealthy and often suffer from stress and fatiguetiredness. This reduces their ability to worklessens their work capacity and results in lower productivity. For example, it has been proven that an obese person needs to makeput more effort to complete asome task than a person ofwith normal weight.
To sum up, obesity is a seriousbig problem that affects many peoplea lot of people nowadays. It’s mainly caused by inactive lifestyle and eating disorders and results in severe health problems and loss of productivity.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response answers both questions directly and uses a clear cause-and-effect structure, with relevant explanations of lifestyle, diet, health, and productivity. Its main weakness is the recurring imprecision in collocation, articles, plurals, and comparative forms, while some examples are asserted too confidently. The highest-priority improvement is to edit for natural grammatical phrasing and support examples with more carefully qualified claims.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and effects are clearly identified and developed with relevant explanations and examples.
Use more credible, carefully qualified evidence and distinguish unhealthy eating habits from clinical eating disorders.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically from causes to effects, with clear paragraphing and generally effective referencing.
Reduce mechanical signposting and connect each example more explicitly to the precise point it supports.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic-specific range, but recurring awkward collocations and imprecise word choices reduce naturalness.
Improve combinations such as causes of obesity, sedentary lifestyle, fewer calories, and heart disease.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but frequent article, number, and comparative errors remain noticeable.
Proofread systematically for articles, countable nouns, comparative forms, and verb patterns such as effort to complete a task.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.