Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Crime has been studied by many scientific disciplines, with some people ascribing it to social problems and poverty, and others thinking that it is caused by athe criminal’s nature. In this debateIn this, I believe that unlawful behavior is more likely the result of harmful personality traitsdefective personal qualities.
Several explanations can support crime being a function of inferior socioeconomic factors. Firstly, poverty reduces access to education and employment, causing hopelessness and desperation as a result. Having been deprived of opportunities, people may turn to crime to get by. Furthermore, people whose environment is rife with social problems may be accustomed to illegal behavior, making it easier for themthemselves to engage in criminal activities later on. A child who grows up in a neighborhood with drug problems could turn into a drug dealer himself, since he has witnessed drug abuse and addiction as normaldrug abuse and addiction as a norm. It could, therefore, be argued that social issues and poverty create criminals.
However, the view that crime is a result of the perpetrator’s nature is no less convincing. Proponents of this belief claim that certain traits, such as impulsivity, aggression, and callousness, predispose individuals to immoral or unethical behavior. People with these traits become less considerate when they perceive any threat to their self-interest, making them likely to ignore the consequences of their actions. Others, meanwhile, havecarry undiagnosed psychological disorders, and their condition makes them more prone to committing crimes. A large share of the prison population, especially repeat offenders, are affected by sociopathy, a disorder usually characterized by limited compassion for othersinhibited compassion towards others. It is not well-understood otherwise, and education has only been partially effective in mitigating sociopathy’s effects. For these reasons, criminals’ personalitiesnature is definitely worth looking at as a cause of their offenses.
In conclusion, while both views can be supported by evidence, I believe one’s personality is a better indicator of whethera more indicative factor of whether they are likely to commit crimes. Hence, it is crucial that parents and guardians pay attention to how they shape their children’s nature.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its balanced, well-developed discussion, supported by a clear and consistently maintained preference for personal disposition as the stronger cause. Its main limitation is that several claims about psychological disorders and offenders are presented too categorically, which reduces evidential nuance. Prioritise qualifying those claims and grounding them in more precise reasoning while retaining the essay’s effective structure and sophisticated language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are developed in depth, and the writer’s preference for personal nature as the stronger cause remains clear throughout.
Qualify broad claims about sociopathy and repeat offenders so that the supporting argument is more measured and credible.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a balanced four-paragraph structure, with cohesive devices used smoothly and clear connections within each argument.
Clarify the referent and function of the sentence beginning with ‘It is not well-understood otherwise’ to avoid a momentary break in progression.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible vocabulary conveys abstract arguments precisely, although a few choices such as ‘inhibited compassion’ are not fully natural.
Refine occasional collocations by choosing more idiomatic formulations such as ‘limited empathy’ or ‘a stronger indicator’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few awkward constructions do not impede communication.
Polish comparative and complement structures, particularly phrases such as ‘a more indicative factor of whether’, for greater grammatical naturalness.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.