Fewer and fewer people walk on a daily basis. What are the reasons and how to encourage them to spend their time walking?
Sample Response
Nowadays, many people say that they are walking less regularly than in the pastwalking less on a regular basis compared to the past which, in the long run, might affect their health. The essay will analyze the situation identifying the reasonspointing at the reasons for this and proposing a few suggestions to help curb this issue.
Most of the populationThe major part of the population is choosing to walk less because of two main factorsbecause of the two main factors. Firstly, modern advancesthe benefits of the modern advancements have made it easier for individuals to commute than in the pastas compared to the past. Due to this, they prefer to use these transport optionsutilize them rather than walking to their destinationtaking a stroll to reach their destination. For example, in residential buildings, most individuals prefer to use elevators instead of stairs, which leads to a reduction in their daily physical activity. Therefore, their overall fitness declines significantly, and it eventually results in a surge in their reliance on technology. Secondly, the younger generation spends a considerableconspicuous amount of time on digital devices. They engage in activities on several platformsengage themselves in several activities and platforms such as Facebook or Instagram which might seem highly attractive but they are also time consuming. Therefore, walking has become less appealing thanless of a choice than sitting in front of a computer monitor or engaging in sedentary activitiesinvolving in sedentary activity.
However, a variety of measures can be taken to tackle this problem. The first and foremost measure is to impose rulesmeasure is the rules to be imposed on elevator usethe usage of elevators in buildings. This can include restricting their usespecifying using them for floors higher than four storeys or if the residents are elderly or disabled. By introducing such a ruleBy including the formal pronouncement, residents would then use the stairsresort to stairs more often which will helpmake them become more physically active. In addition to that, local authorities should also construct more green spaces with walking paths and inviting parks where people can walk with their kids, young people and enjoy nature. Thus, young individuals would prefer to leave their gadgets while making walking a more frequent activity.
In conclusion, technological advancements along with the increased amount of time spent on digital devices are the main reasons for the reduction in daily walking. On the contrary, measures such as the prohibition of elevator use and investment in pedestrian infrastructure must be considered to persuade individuals to make walking a part of their daily schedules leading to an improvement in health.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response answers both questions in a clearly organised structure and supports its reasons and solutions with concrete examples. However, some causal links are unconvincing, several proposed details are awkwardly expressed, and grammatical errors recur; the highest-priority improvement is to develop each measure with more realistic reasoning while revising article use, sentence construction, and collocations for greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay covers relevant reasons and encouragement measures, although some explanations and solutions are not fully convincing.
Explain more clearly why each proposed measure would change walking habits and avoid unsupported causal claims about technology reliance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are grouped logically and the response has clear overall progression, despite some mechanical or inaccurate linking.
Use transitions according to their precise logical function and strengthen the connection between examples and the point they support.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows useful range, but recurring awkward collocations and vague references reduce precision.
Choose natural expressions for technology use and policy measures, and ensure pronouns such as them have an unmistakable referent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, though article, clause, and word-form errors recur.
Revise malformed constructions such as specifying using them and make them become, then check articles and sentence boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Fewer and fewer people walk on a daily basis. What are the reasons and how to encourage them to spend their time walking?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.