In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think it is happening? How to solve this issue?
Sample Response
That there has been a devastating decline in the numbers of animals and plantsdecline of the number of animals and plants the world over has become an alarming fact. Although there are many reasons for this phenomenon, there are also feasible solutions.
There are two reasons behind this decline. The first of which is deforestation. Nowadays, deforestation is an alarming problem throughout the world. Trees are cut down to clear space for cattlecow grazing, farming, and wood harvesting. This leads to a direct loss of natural habitat for wildlife and exposes flora and fauna to the risk of extinction. According to recent estimates fromof the World Animal Foundation, around 137 species of flora and fauna become extinct because of deforestationare lost to deforestation per day. Another reason worth mentioning is climate change. Due to the greenhouse effect, the world’s temperature has been rising continuouslyrising non-stop, which has resulted inwhich culminates in the increasing frequency of wildfires that are life threatening to both plants and animals. For instance, in 2020, Brazil’s wildfires wiped out an estimated 17 million animalsan estimated number of 17 million animals.
While this phenomenon is catastrophic, there are a number of feasible solutions to tackle this problem. First, governments should implement stricter policies regarding commercial logging. Heavier fines should be levied on illegal loggers and forest ranger units should receive more resourcesforest ranger forces should have more reinforcements. Such tough measures will discourage illegal timber harvesting operations to a degree. Another solution is to encourage large companies to cut down on their carbon footprint. Corporations worldwideCorporations the world over can switch to eco-friendly energy sources and materials. For example, LEGO is currently building a carbon neutral plant in Binh Duong Province in Vietnam in an effort to minimize its carbon emissions.
In conclusion, the increasing disappearance of wildlife and plants can be attributed to climate change and deforestation. However, this problem can be addressed by enforcing stricter laws and regulations on deforestation and encouraging companies to minimize their carbon footprint.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response answers both parts directly, with clearly developed causes and practical solutions supported by specific examples, and its strongest feature is the consistent relevance of each main paragraph. Its main limitation is occasional awkward or imprecise phrasing alongside one sentence fragment. The highest-priority improvement is to refine collocations and proofread sentence boundaries so the otherwise confident, well-controlled argument reads more naturally throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the causes and solutions are addressed directly, developed with clear explanations, and supported by relevant examples.
Strengthen the response further by explaining more explicitly how the proposed corporate measures would reduce the specific pressures on wildlife and plants.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from causes to solutions, with clear paragraphing and generally unobtrusive cohesive devices.
Use slightly less formulaic transitions between supporting points to make the progression feel even more natural.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of topic-specific vocabulary conveys ideas precisely, though a few collocations such as the wording about ranger reinforcements sound awkward.
Prioritize natural collocations by replacing awkward combinations with established phrases such as increasing the number of forest rangers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used accurately and flexibly throughout, with only rare lapses such as the fragment beginning The first of which.
Proofread sentence boundaries so dependent relative structures are attached to a complete main clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think it is happening? How to solve this issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.