More and more students at university today are not choosing to study science. Why is this happening? What are the effects of this?
Sample Response
Fewer undergraduates today than ever before are opting to pursue careers in science. This is because business related subjects offer greater financial security and this will result in less talent overallless overall talent in scientific fields.
The main reason that science majors are dwindling is the lure of business. Studying a scientific subject such as biology or chemistry requires intensive specializationintense specification, long hours in labs, and uncertain career prospectsunstable future career options. Business related majors, on the other hand, are perceived as offering an easier pathare guaranteed an easier path to a good salary and the esteem of others. Good evidence of this comes in the form of all the majors related to commerce rapidly growing in popularity including marketing, finance, corporate law, banking, and economics. Parents often put pressure on their children to major in these subjects to secure a basic level of financial securityminimum level of financial success and increase their future earning potentialraise the ceiling on future earning potential.
The impact will be felt in an overall decrease inof talent in science. In the past, science tended to attract the best and brightest students who saw it as a path to personal wealth, glory and the public good. A good example of this is in the decades leading up to World War 2 when advances in medicine and technology of bright individuals like Marie Curie, Alexander Fleming, and Albert Einstein made them immortal role models. Today, our role models are more likely to be business figures such asbusinessmen of a sort such as Steve Jobs, Warren Buffet, and Donald Trump. This is not only evidence of thisthe societal shift but also portends fewer prominent scientific figures in the futurefewer great figures in science going forward.
In conclusion, business has siphoned off potential science majors and this will result in fewer high quality scientists. It is important to highlight the achievements of scientists and challenge the idealisation of businesspeopledenigrate businessmen in order to curb this alarming trend.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a direct answer to both questions, sustains a clear line of argument, and uses varied, confident language to develop the cause and its likely consequence. Its main limitation is that several claims are overly absolute and the historical evidence is not always precisely framed. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify these claims and explain the societal effects through more carefully selected evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The cause and effect are both clearly identified and substantially developed with relevant explanation and examples.
Qualify sweeping claims about career guarantees and strengthen the effect analysis with more precise evidence about scientific capacity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised, with focused paragraphs and a clear progression from cause to consequence.
Make the link between historical role models and the predicted loss of scientific talent more explicitly causal.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide and often precise, with strong expressions such as “siphoned off” and “portends,” despite a few awkward choices.
Replace imprecise phrases such as “intense specification” and “businessmen of a sort” with more natural academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and generally accurate, and errors are rare enough not to disrupt communication.
Polish occasional awkward noun-phrase relationships so that complex sentences remain consistently clear and natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more students at university today are not choosing to study science. Why is this happening? What are the effects of this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.