Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Information has been an essential component of human society, from scientific research to business and academic circles. While some individuals believe that sharing information is crucial, others think that some specific details and facts must not be shared due to their sensitivity or significance. In this essay, I will discuss both views and provide my opinion that all information should not be shared freely.
Those who advocate for the free exchange of information believe that it can result in significant advancements in various fields. When scientists share their research findings, for example, it can lead to new discoveries, leading to improved technology and quality of life. Additionally, sharing information can lead to increased transparency and accountability in business and governance, reducing the risk of corruption and fraud.
On the other hand, others argue that certain information is too valuable or sensitive to be freely available to all. This information may include trade secrets, confidential data, and national security information. When such information is shared, it may fall into the wrong hands and be used for malicious purposes, such as industrial espionage or terrorism. Furthermore, some individuals believe that the monetization of information is essential for encouraging innovation and development. Companies invest considerable resources in research and development, and sharing their findings without adequate compensation can discourage investment and slow down progress. This view is particularly prevalent in industries such as pharmaceuticals, where patents and exclusive rights can be crucial for incentivizing innovation.
While some individuals believe that sharing information freely can lead to significant progress and innovation, I believe that in certain cases, such as national security or confidential information, limited access is necessary.
In conclusion, when sharing information may pose risks and trade loss, a restriction should be imposed on that practice. This way, business would flourish and more research work would be done. Moreover, state secrets should be guarded vigilantly as they may bring catastrophe if mishandled or used by corrupted people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the negation Original: all information should not be shared freely Suggested revision: not all information should be shared freely Why it matters: Placing “not” before “all” clearly expresses that only some information should be restricted.
- 2. Avoid repeated wording Original: leading to improved technology and quality of life Suggested revision: which can improve technology and quality of life Why it matters: This relative clause avoids repeating “lead” and makes the causal sequence smoother.
- 3. Remove transition redundancy Original: others Suggested revision: some Why it matters: Using “others” immediately after this transition is unnecessarily repetitive.
- 4. Use a natural phrase Original: national security information Suggested revision: information related to national security Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the relationship between the information and national security more naturally.
- 5. Make examples parallel Original: such as national security or confidential information Suggested revision: particularly for national-security or other confidential information Why it matters: The revision makes both examples refer to types of information and fits the surrounding sentence grammatically.
- 6. Use precise collocations Original: when sharing information may pose risks and trade loss Suggested revision: when sharing information may pose security risks or cause commercial losses Why it matters: Information can pose risks or cause losses, while “trade loss” is not a natural collocation here.
- 7. Use the plural form Original: a restriction should be imposed Suggested revision: restrictions should be imposed Why it matters: The plural form better expresses a general policy applying to multiple kinds of information.
- 8. Name the practice clearly Original: on that practice Suggested revision: on such sharing Why it matters: This wording refers more directly to the sharing of sensitive information.
- 9. Use a general plural Original: business would flourish Suggested revision: businesses could flourish Why it matters: The plural noun and cautious modal suit this general prediction more naturally.
- 10. Use formal phrasing Original: more research work would be done Suggested revision: more research could be conducted Why it matters: “Conduct research” is the standard formal collocation.
- 11. Correct the collocation Original: bring Suggested revision: cause Why it matters: “Cause catastrophe” is the natural verb–noun combination in this context.
- 12. Choose the right adjective Original: corrupted Suggested revision: corrupt Why it matters: “Corrupt” describes dishonest people, whereas “corrupted” usually describes something that has been altered or damaged.
Suggested Rewrites
- all information should not be shared freely not all information should be shared freely
- leading to improved technology and quality of life which can improve technology and quality of life
- others some
- national security information information related to national security
- such as national security or confidential information particularly for national-security or other confidential information
- when sharing information may pose risks and trade loss when sharing information may pose security risks or cause commercial losses
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response addresses both perspectives directly, maintains a clear qualified position, and supports its discussion with relevant examples from research, business, and security. Its main limitation is structural repetition near the end, where the position is restated in two separate concluding paragraphs and a few claims remain broad. Combine the closing material and develop the practical consequences of each argument more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are fully addressed with relevant explanations and examples.
Develop the positive case with the same depth and specificity given to the case for restricting information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused body paragraphs, although the final two paragraphs repeat the same position.
Merge the repeated closing material into one concise conclusion that synthesizes the discussion.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary supports discussion of research, commerce, security, and innovation.
Replace occasional awkward choices such as trade loss and corrupted people with more natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only occasional non-impeding awkwardness.
Refine clause phrasing to remove ambiguous or repetitive constructions such as all information should not be shared.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.