While many people opine that drug smugglers should be punished by death row, others completely oppose this idea and argue that a less severe punishment should be in action. Recently, Australia urged Indonesia not to execute drug smugglers on death row. What is your opinion on that? State your position and give the relevant reasons on how far you agree/disagree with the topic.
Sample Response
In the present age, itIt is an undeniable fact that drug abuse has become a heatedsparked debate all over the world, including Indonesia are taking part of this issue, mainly because Indonesia is one of the largest maritimeocean countries of the world. There areis a growing number of people who argue that drug abuse, in Indonesia, is considered as the biggest issue compared to cases worldwidethe worldwide’s cases because the Indonesian government isIndonesian government are not taking serious measuresnot seriously taking some measures to tackle this problem. These people thinkthought that executingby executing drug smugglers on death row is consideredmeasured as the best solution to reduce such casescase. From my point of view, I strongly disagree with this statement, and in the following paragraphsin further paragraphs, I will support my opinion with examplesby some examples. To begin withTo begin with, first and foremost, Indonesia is one of the largest multicultural countries and one of the biggest democratic countries all over the world. When Indonesian government officials decide everything related to policies concerning drug smugglerspolicies, including drug smugglers, they have to consult with other stakeholders, namely practitioners, expertsexpertise, academicians, and societies as a whole. According to a new Indonesian president's point of viewa new Indonesia president point of view, death row or death penalty, as Indonesians call itas well as Indonesian, called it, is not a proper solution to deal with this kind of problem mainly because it will lead to another problem. To implement this punishment is not as simple as it looks and there are some implicationsthere some implications. Furthermore, there are a variety of the possible solutions to cope with this issue. Firstly, the government should analyse the reasons behind drug smuggling that are conducted by both Indonesian and foreigners. Secondly, they have to implement strict rule both in airport and seaport, for instance, if officers on duty in both areas are not doing their work properly, for example, suspected of bribery with drug smugglers, the government have to punish them with a brutal punishment. Lastly, Indonesian government coordinates with other countries how to deal with this view. To sum up, whether or not drug smugglers should be punished by death row, from my view, death row is not the right answer into reducing drug smugglers in Indonesia.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear opposition to the death penalty and offers several potentially relevant alternatives, including stronger enforcement and international cooperation. Its main limitation is that the reasons against execution remain vague, while several background claims and proposed measures are only loosely connected to the position. The highest priority is to build two focused arguments with explicit explanation of why each supports a less severe punishment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, but the supporting reasons are often general, weakly connected, or insufficiently developed.
Develop each main reason by explaining precisely why execution is ineffective or inappropriate and support it with a relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a discernible sequence, although mechanical linking and the absence of effective paragraphing weaken progression.
Separate the introduction, distinct supporting arguments, and conclusion into paragraphs with one clear central idea each.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to discuss policy and punishment, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Use simpler, natural combinations such as impose a penalty, enforce strict rules, and reduce drug smuggling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, sentence construction, and word forms sometimes strain clarity.
Prioritise complete sentence structures and check subject-verb agreement and article use throughout each paragraph.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
While many people opine that drug smugglers should be punished by death row, others completely oppose this idea and argue that a less severe punishment should be in action. Recently, Australia urged Indonesia not to execute drug smugglers on death row. What is your opinion on that? State your position and give the relevant reasons on how far you agree/disagree with the topic.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.