Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Sample Response
Education is considered the backboneconsidered backbone of a nation. It is also an important element of human life. No nation can develop and prosper unless properly educated. However, both men and women are equally considered to contribute to national achievementcontribute national achievement. Hence, to ensure empowerment and eliminate gender discriminationensure empowerment and gender discrimination I believe that the universities should offer equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. The main reason I support the notion that the tertiary institutes should accept equal numbersnumber of boys and girls is to eliminate gender discrimination. In many countries in the world especially in western countries both men and women enjoy an equal degree of freedomequal degree of freedom in all aspectsaspect of life. Unfortunately, this is not the same in developing countriesthird world countries. In fact the opposite situation existsthere is an opposite picture exists especially in poor nations where menmale dominate in most aspectsmost of the aspects. For instance, in some nations male doctors are not allowed to examineinspect and treat female patients and thus the authorities give preference toin female candidates in those subjects. In contrast, in the developed worldWhereas in developed world there is virtually no sex differentiation and pupils can be admitted to any subjectget admitted any subjects they are interested in. What I want to highlight here is that if educational institutions pick equal number of students from both gendersgender it will not only eliminate impartiality that might exist once graduates enter employment but also equalize the balance between male and female employees. The other reason I strongly believe that all educational institutes should take the same number of male and female candidates is due to gender empowerment. As we are aware that female candidates may have more attraction to nursing programs whereas male candidates may be interested in sport. This way it might bring inequality of gender ratioration once they graduateonce they are graduated. Therefore, to avoid additional candidates to a particular discipline universities can offer admission to the same number of boys and girlsoffer admissions same number of boys and girls. In fact, such practice would help to reduce the disparity between the sexesstop the disruption between both sexes and will make sure empowerment of both sexes uniquely. In, needless to say that for every stages of national and international achievement both sexes are vitally essential. So I believe that both male and female should receive equal level of education and, hence, all institutes should accept the same number of genders in every subject.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is strongest in maintaining a clear position in favour of equal admissions and offering several relevant reasons connected to discrimination and opportunity. Its main limitation is that frequent grammatical and word-choice errors, combined with the absence of paragraphing, make parts of the reasoning difficult to follow. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the essay into distinct paragraphs and express each supporting idea in shorter, accurately constructed sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and the main ideas are relevant, but some explanations are repetitive, unclear, or logically unconvincing.
Develop two distinct reasons with precise cause-and-effect explanations and examples that directly demonstrate why fixed equality is beneficial.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a discernible sequence, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens progression and makes transitions difficult to track.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into focused paragraphs with a clear topic sentence in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response shows enough vocabulary to discuss education and gender equality, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Use familiar words accurately and revise expressions such as gender ration, eliminate impartiality, and disruption between both sexes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied and complex sentences, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, prepositions, and clause formation sometimes strain clarity.
Prioritise complete sentence patterns with correct subjects and verbs, then check plural forms, articles, and prepositions during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.