Employers should give their staff at least four weeks’ holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people argueThere are those who opine that workers should be provided with at least one month of leaveno less than one-month leave every year to improve their work performance. I fully agreePersonally, I totally agree with this statement because it can increase employees’ motivation to workworking motivation and allow them to develop themselvesachieve self-improvement.
The main reason why I believe that a holiday of at least one montha minimum one-month holiday should be given to employees to make them perform better at their jobs is that this practice strengthens their motivation to worksharpens their work incentives. Employees usually work long hours every daywork for long hours on a daily basis, which createsbuilds monotony, boredom and stress. As a result of this, their productivity falls appreciably. In contrast, when such a long period of leave is offeredsuch a long leave from work is shown, employees can regard this as an incentive to work harda driving force behind their hard work.
Another reason is that such a break provides workers with opportunities to recover both physically and psychologicallyopportunities to make adjustments both physically and psychologically before returning to their work commitmentsreadapting themselves to new work commitments. When employees work for extended periodswork for a long duration, they are likely to feel exhausted and stressed, causing them to loseleading to the fact that they lose enthusiasm and energy for their workpassion, excitement and energy for work. If they are given a month of leaveIf they are given a month, however, their stresspressure can be relieved by having sufficient time to rest and relaxenjoy themselves and relax, helping them regain their energyhelping them to be energetic again when they go back to work.
In conclusion, I am strongly in favour of the view that employees should be rewarded with a month-long holiday annually to eventually improve their work efficiency. This is because employees can be motivatedand be refreshed at the same time, and in the meanwhile be refreshed. Therefore, it is suggested that companies do this for better employee performance.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear, consistent agreement and its logical explanation of how extended leave can improve motivation and restore employees' energy. Its main limitation is that the two supporting ideas overlap and rely on general explanation rather than specific illustration, while several unnatural collocations reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to distinguish the benefits more sharply and support each one with a concrete workplace example expressed in natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the opinion task, maintains a clear position, and develops two relevant reasons, though support remains somewhat general and overlapping.
Give each reason a distinct focus and add a concrete example showing how annual leave produces better performance in practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and a logical overall progression, although repeated restatement and mechanical linking make parts of the argument feel less streamlined.
Reduce repetition between the body paragraphs and conclusion, and use more implicit progression where the logical relationship is already clear.
Lexical Resource
The response displays sufficient range for the topic, but several awkward collocations, including “sharpens their work incentives” and “leave from work is shown,” limit precision.
Prioritise conventional workplace collocations such as “increase motivation,” “grant leave,” and “reduce stress” to make expression more natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, and grammatical inaccuracies are occasional rather than disruptive.
Review noun phrases and reference in constructions such as “a minimum one-month holiday” and “given a month” to improve accuracy and clarity.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Employers should give their staff at least four weeks’ holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.