Most of the countries provide free health service. Some people believe that people with unhealthy habits like smoking, stress and not exercising should not get this free service. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In my opinion, medical care is a primary right of every citizen of a country. Irrespective of lifestyles and social habits, everyonesocial habits everyone should get health care service free of chargeat free of cost.
People's living standardsLiving standards of the people depend on many factors such as social circumstances, family conditions and job responsibilitieslike society, family conditions, job responsibilities etc. People working in IT and BPO industries are normally under considerable stress while designinghighly stressed in designing intricate business solutions. Most of the timetimes they don’t find time to exercise to stay fitwork out for body fitness, this is due to irregular and long working hours. Employees in manufacturingEmployees of a manufacturing industry also faceundergo similar problems due to odd work shifts. Despite sacrificing a healthy lifestyleDespite ruining their healthy lifestyle, they contribute to societycontribute to the society through taxesin the form of tax. Why should they notWhy should not they get free health service?
Some of my friends argue that the restriction of health care services based on social habits like smoking, consumption of alcohol etc., may improve the overall health of societyhealth levels of a society. They assume that people may be afraidpeople may afraid of not getting free medical service due to these habits and they may quit. One of the surveys conducted in India has proved it wrong. This survey wasis conducted on a group of young people aged between 19 and 30. Results of the survey revealed an unexpected findinga shocking truth. People who are addicted to these habits do not really care about their health. Surprisingly, most participants suggestedmost of the people suggested decreasing the price of cigarettes and spirits. So the analysis of the survey clearly illustrated that the alterations to the medical system based on adverse habits do not really help the society. Instead of restricting the free health service, increasing the cost of cigarettescigars and alcohol by imposing a high tax is highly recommended.
In summary, I strongly feel that free health service system should not be based on people’s unhealthy lifestyle. We should treat this as a psychological disorder and local council should take responsibility to provide proper counselling at no charge, to improve living standards.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, consistent position and supports it with relevant reasoning about workers, deterrence, taxation, and counselling. Its main limitation is that some evidence is asserted rather than convincingly established, especially the survey, while recurring awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer arguments more rigorously and edit sentence structures and word combinations for natural accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with several relevant reasons, although parts of the survey-based argument are asserted or only loosely justified.
Develop the strongest two reasons with more credible explanation and explicitly connect each example to equal access to healthcare.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through the position, supporting reasons, an opposing view, and a conclusion, with generally clear paragraphing and referencing.
Tighten the long third paragraph by grouping the counterargument, response, and alternative policy into a more controlled sequence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but awkward combinations such as health levels and work out for body fitness weaken precision.
Prioritise natural collocations for healthcare, exercise, addiction, and public policy, and avoid substituting near-synonyms that change the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms communicates the argument clearly, though article, agreement, clause, and verb-form errors recur across the response.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause boundaries, correct auxiliary patterns, and article use before adding further structural complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Most of the countries provide free health service. Some people believe that people with unhealthy habits like smoking, stress and not exercising should not get this free service. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.