Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.
Sample Response
In the present age, globalization is playing an increasingly important role in our lives. But in the meantime whether it is a blessing or a curse has sparked a heated debate. Some people argue that globalization has a fundamentally beneficial influence on our lives, while many others contend that it has a detrimental effect as well.
Admittedly, the profit driven side of globalization has had severe effects on young peopleseverely affected young people. Today, in cities across different countriesin the metropolises in different countries, it is commonvery common to see teenagers wearing branded T-shirts and sportswearNIKE T-shirts and Adidas footwear, listening to hip-hop music on Apple iPodsplaying Hip-Hop music on Apple iPods and eating at KFC. The local cultureThe culture that took thousands of years to developtook a thousand years to form seems increasingly similarjust seems similar in these cities; it seems as though you can only distinguish these cities by languagedistinguish them by their language. Meanwhile, in certainsome developing countries, sweatshops are a persistent concernsweat workshops are always a concerning issue. For instance, some reports indicatereports show that some teenagers employed by contractors for NIKEemployed by NIKE’s contractors work in smelly factories for over 14 hours a dayfactories over 14 hours a day, yet receive onlybut are only paid fifty cents per hour.
To sum up, I would concede that globalization does come with some adverse effects. Despite that fact, the benefits it createsbenefits created by it far outweigh the disadvantages. Overall, I am convinced that we should further promote globalization while governmentsand meanwhile the local government should take measures to combat culturalculture assimilation and sweatshops.sweat workshops.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response uses specific examples and a strong vocabulary range to explain cultural homogenisation and exploitative labour. However, it is under length and discusses only negative effects, while its conclusion claims that benefits predominate without developing any positive case. The highest-priority improvement is to add a fully explained paragraph on economic benefits and then compare both sides to support the final position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops two relevant disadvantages and states a position, but it omits discussion of the positive effects that its conclusion endorses.
Add a developed positive argument and explicitly weigh it against the cultural and labour disadvantages before concluding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, focused body discussion, and conclusion progress clearly, with cohesive links guiding the reader through the negative examples.
Use separate body paragraphs for the cultural and labour impacts so that each main idea has a more distinct progression.
Lexical Resource
A broad and often precise vocabulary conveys complex ideas effectively, although a few collocations such as “sweat workshops” and “culture assimilation” are inaccurate.
Replace inaccurate combinations with natural forms such as “sweatshops” and “cultural assimilation,” while retaining the existing range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally controlled and meaning remains clear, despite occasional awkward clause construction and article use.
Edit the opening and conclusion for smoother clause linking and more consistent article use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.