Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and its better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?
Sample Response
Since the authorities mightcould not be able to provide cutting-edge technologies for treating patientstechnologies in treating the patient, some individuals argue that they should concentrate more on funding education and culturefinancing the sector of learning and culture rather than providingas compared to providing free health care services. I agreeIn my opinion, I agree with their concerns as well-educated citizens can proactively raise awareness of maintaining good healthparticipate proactively in the awareness of maintaining good health as well as preserving our art, literature, and traditions.
On the one hand, there are various reasons why a section of society considers that the government should provide people with free health care servicesallow people to avail themselves of health care services for free. Primarily, because citizens are required to payif a citizen is bound to pay all kinds of taxes to the governmentnation, such as road tax, property tax, among othersand many more, the respective authorities are also responsible for providing their residentsliable to provide their residents with good medical caregood and medical care at no cost. To cite an example, a major healthcare providera great health care authority, the NHS in the United Kingdom, providesNHS in the United Kingdom provides free medical treatmenttreatments to British nationals. Hence, it is undeniable that the healthcaremedicinal benefits stand people in good stead by improving their well-beingas far as their augmenting prosperity is concerned.
On the other hand, I agree with those people who argue that if the administration cannot provide free health benefits for serious diseasesfor the grave diseases with state-of-the-art technologies, then the funds should be wisely invested in cultural development and the provision ofinvested in the development of culture as well as providing good educational facilities to every legal resident Deleteowing to several causative factors. Predominantly, as the educated nationals are the future of every country, basic education should be provided without feesbasic learning should be given without taking the fees and financial support should be provided for higher educationfinancial support ought to be required in higher studies. If there are more educated citizens in a nation, they can make themselves as well as others fit and healthy by adopting the right kind of approach through studying more about health hazards and also prove an advantage in conducting research as well as finding remedies in fighting against severe illnesses. Apart from this, because a rich cultural heritage is an asset of any country to get intact with our history and roots, the appropriate funding in preserving our ancient art and the literature will undoubtedly prove beneficial in developing a unique identity in front of the world. Thus, the decisions of administration in managing investment play a vital role in developing a rich nation in education and cultural spheres.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that intellectual and cultural development is irrefutable in constructing a successful nation. However, the health criteria also play a significant role, provided if the government adopts a balanced approach in the welfare of their citizens.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents substantial, relevant discussion of public health care and alternative investment, with a clear paragraph structure and several developed supporting points. Its main weakness is that the position shifts from supporting education and culture to advocating a balanced approach, while ambitious wording is frequently imprecise and sentences become cumbersome. The priority is to state one consistent, qualified opinion and express each reason in shorter, more natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay explores the competing priorities in depth, but the final balanced position is not fully consistent with the stronger preference stated earlier.
Define a precise position in the introduction and maintain that same qualification throughout the argument and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, though some long sentences contain too many linked ideas and weaken focus.
Divide the longest body sentences and organise each paragraph around one central claim followed by its direct support.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad and ambitious vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise word choices reduce clarity.
Prefer accurate, conventional phrases such as raise health awareness, serious illnesses, and preserve cultural heritage over inflated wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a good attempt at varied complex grammar, but recurring errors in verb patterns, articles, agreement, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Simplify clause structures and check verb forms and article use so complex sentences remain grammatically controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and its better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.