It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
It is advisable for primary children that they should learn to cultivate vegetable crops and also to keep pets and raise them. I believe there are advantages as well as disadvantages. In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantagesthe disadvantages are more than the advantages in this case because I believe it is too early for primary-school childrenprimary kids to learn this.
On the one hand, if we see the advantages of including the studystudies of crop cultivation and nurturing animals in the primary-school curriculumthe small kid’s syllabus, they can develop a sense of responsibility which can help shape them into attentive and responsible membersmould their characters to be vigilant and liable members of society in the future. Also, they would become more empathetic towards farmerstowards the farmer, by seeing them workseeing them working hard and learning that hard work is required to produce foodhard labour is the reality for us for getting to eat food. It can also be an alternative career choice for theman alternative career choice for the kids when they grow up. For instance, during the COVIDcovid-19 pandemic, many people lost their jobs and relocated to rural areas. Some of them found their farming and livestock husbandry skills life-saving.
On the other handOn the contrary, one of the disadvantages of this can be exposed to various hazardous pesticides and herbicides to kids. This, in turn, can cause injuries such as burnsinjuries like burning, poisoning, or respiratory illnessesillness. In addition, childrenApart from this, children are more likely to suffer injuries inflicted by animals. Not only do they suffer from injuries, but also certain infectious diseases, such as rabies or scratches from cats, to name a few. Furthermore, children need to study and gain knowledge for different career pathsvarious career prospects. So if they are engaged in farming or keeping animals, they may becomechances are they would feel more interested in it and less interested in academic studies.
To conclude, knowledge of crops and animals benefits school-going kids because it helps them value this knowledgeallows them to value it. However, its disadvantages outweigh its advantagesadvantage. While it can harm children's healththe kid’s health by exposing them to hazardous fertilizers, they can also catch an illness from the pet if proper care is not taken. Moreover, it will often distract them from their studies.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear comparative position and supports both sides with several relevant reasons, including responsibility, health risks, and distraction from study. Development is generally effective, although a few claims and examples are loosely connected and recurring awkward phrasing limits precision. The highest priority is to tighten the reasoning behind each example and improve grammatical control in complex sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed with a clear position and developed arguments on both advantages and disadvantages.
Make the advantage example more directly relevant to primary children and explain the weighing of benefits against risks more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, balanced body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion, with generally effective cohesion.
Strengthen internal paragraph links so every example follows directly from the claim it is intended to support.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary is used, though some collocations and referents are imprecise or unnatural.
Refine expressions concerning responsibility, curriculum content, injuries, and appreciation to achieve more natural precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, but recurring errors in clause construction, agreement, and reference remain.
Edit complex sentences for complete grammatical patterns and ensure pronouns and singular-plural forms refer consistently.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.