In some countries, people have more money to spend than they had earlier, due to which they are buying more and more things. Do you think it is a positive development or negative?
Sample Response
Due to technological advancesDue to the burgeoning technology, sources of incomeearning resources of the masses have also increasedescalated in a few nations. Currently, people possess a lot of wealth, and they spend their money in order to buy more and more things. FromIn my perspective, it is a negative development as their shopping habits can impoverish themshopping habits can make them pauper and it poses a serious threat toit has a great threat to the environmentphysical surroundings.
To begin with,At the outset, now individuals are wealthier than in the past, and they utilize their money to buy more products. Thus, excessiveThus excessive shopping makes them pauper. For exampleTo exemplify it, now the availability of many shopping apps has encouraged people to overspendmade the masses extravagant, and they don’t hesitate to spend money onpurchasing the products in vogue. They get attracted by the glossy look of the products without knowing how they will actually use themthe real usage of that one. So, after spending a lot of money, they become penniless. Many famous celebrities are classic examplesthe classic example of this attitude, and when they are unable to pay their debtsthe debt, they commit suicide. So the spendthrift attitude of people becomes a real cause of their ruin.
Moreover, unnecessary purchasespurchasing have a detrimental impact on the environment. People now live in a throwaway societyuse and throw society. Compulsive buyers, after using their products, discard them. For instance, to beautify the house, now a vast array of commodities are available in the market. Wooden furniture has made people spend lavishly. People discard the old one and purchase the new one. ConsequentlyResultantly, deforestation takes place, and wildlife is on the verge of extinction. Therefore, inhuman activities deteriorate the environment.
To conclude, Thus having plenty of wealth made people shopaholics, and it has posed a serious threat to biodiversity.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear negative position and supports it with two logically separated consequences, particularly overspending and environmental damage. However, some claims are exaggerated or only loosely supported, and recurring collocation and grammar errors weaken precision; the highest priority is to build each argument through realistic, carefully explained evidence while using more natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a consistent position and two extended reasons, though several supporting claims are overgeneralised or implausible.
Use realistic examples and explain the causal link between increased spending and each claimed consequence more carefully.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clear topic-based paragraphs, but some linking devices are repetitive or awkwardly placed.
Use fewer formulaic connectors and strengthen transitions by making the logical relationship between consecutive sentences explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably wide topic vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations and word choices limit precision.
Choose natural phrases for income, poverty, consumer culture, and environmental harm rather than forcing less familiar vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, despite recurring errors with agreement, articles, tense, and clause construction.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and article use, especially in sentences containing complex noun phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, people have more money to spend than they had earlier, due to which they are buying more and more things. Do you think it is a positive development or negative?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.