Some people think that people moving to a new country should accept new culture in the foreign country rather than living as a separate minority group with different lifestyle. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Today, with the passage of time each and every country is on the path of development, and with this development there is a growing trend of visiting different places in different countries. It is a highly debated issue whether immigrants should behave likedo and behave as the people of the host country or should they stick to their traditional lifestyle and live as a separate minority. It is necessary to consider the pros and conslook into pros and cons of both situations before forming an opinion.
There are many benefits of adopting host countries' customshost countries customs. Firstly, it reduces the chancesdecreases chances of misunderstanding and embarrassment. For example, inFor e.g. in the UK it is offensive to ask anyone about their payask about pay to anyone, which is common in India. Secondly, a nation’s customs and traditions are fascinating and offer a deep insight into that country. People move to other countries to broaden their horizonshorizon. So, if immigrants copy the customs of the host countrycustoms of host country, they learn more about the host society in an interesting waythem and that too in an interesting way. Finally, visitors establish a rapport with local people because people feel respected when their customs are understood and imitated. They become membersThey become a member of the host country and so they are less likely to experience culture shockdon’t suffer any culture shock.
On the other hand,On the other hand there are many benefits of forming a minority groupadvantages of making a minority group. If a person is from a country with strong, long-established traditionsstrong and old traditions, it will be difficult for him to adapt to the new customs. He can’t abandon their old customsbreak the old customs such as dietaryfood habits and wearing certain types of clothes. In such cases, ifIn such cases if he retains his old customs and lives with his own community as a separate minority, he won’t suffer from homesickness.
On balance, I feel that someone who is moving to another country should respect the customs, culture, traditions etc. of that country. This is necessary because a newcomer is like a guest in someone else’s home. So he is expected to follow the rules of that country. However, it should not be obligatory for him to follow those customs and change himself altogether. As time passes and he gets to know the hosts better then he can decide if he wants to adopt any custom or stick to his own. After all being a cosmopolitan is the need of the hour.
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, mutual understanding between both the visitor and the host is necessary to maintain harmony. A cosmopolitan society in which everyone is tolerant of each other’s customs and traditions is the need of the day. After all, today, we are part of a small global village and not a big planet Earth.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response offers a clear, nuanced position and supports it with a logically organized discussion of integration and cultural continuity. The main limitation is that some arguments become repetitive or rely on formulaic assertions, while recurring article, punctuation, and collocation errors reduce polish. The priority is to state the central judgement more concisely and refine language accuracy throughout the supporting examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A qualified position is clear, and both cultural adaptation and retaining traditions are relevantly discussed with generally developed support.
Tie each body paragraph more directly to the degree of agreement and avoid repeating the broad tolerance message in two conclusions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized into clear stages, although some sequencing language is mechanical and the final two paragraphs overlap in purpose.
Use one concise conclusion and create smoother logical links between the balanced discussion and the final judgement.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for culture and integration, but several imprecise collocations, clichés, and informal forms limit flexibility and precision.
Replace memorized expressions and vague verbs such as copy or make with precise academic language suited to cultural adaptation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates ideas clearly, though recurring article, possessive, punctuation, and clause-boundary errors remain noticeable.
Edit each noun phrase for articles and possessives, then check commas and conjunctions around subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that people moving to a new country should accept new culture in the foreign country rather than living as a separate minority group with different lifestyle. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.