In some countries, 18 is the legal age to vote, to drive and to marry, while it’s higher in some others. Do you think it’s the right age?
Sample Response
In recent years, the age at which an adolescent canage of an adolescent from which they can engage in legal activitiesperform legal activities, such as voting, getting married, etc., has become a hot topic for debate across the globe. Certain countries have finalized 18; however, it is higher in some othersit is more significant in a few. In my viewTo my way of thinking, 18 is not the correct age to do such activities, and it should be set at no younger than 21kept at least as 21 which is explained in the below composition.
It cannot be denied that the world is changing rapidlyworld is growing and grooming rapidly nowadays. As a result, it takes no time for a toddler to become a teenager. Though they know all the details of smart gadgets and utilize them well, they cannot just choose companions or cast their vote at a youngnaive age. Additionally, they are only beginning to understandtheir minds are just coming to know several new things in life because of obvious hormonal changes. Many times they just cast their votes or get married to enjoy short-term pleasurea small-time pleasure which is absolutely preposterous. In India, for example, many political parties bribe college students to take part in their promotional activities. Such immature young peoplehalf-baked minds cannot think logically because they see monetary or other advantages that make their lives easier. Thus, in my view, they do not even know about their future at 18, and how can they think about the well-being of society? It is an injustice to them. Needless to say,Needless to say that choosing a companion should be completely banned because they should focus on their careerscareer rather than wasting their important years roaming around with partners.
Another thing is to permit them to drive vehicles which, from my perspective, should be completely banned till the age of 21. There are various reasons behind this thought. Firstly, teenagers are eagerFirstly, millennials are thrilled to drive either a bike or a car when they turn 16 or 17. In every nook and corner of the world, it is observed that if they are allowed to drive at such an early age, they end up having an accident because of speedingover-speeding or lack of proper training. On top of this, sometimes, these incidents could conceivably leave them disabledmake them handicapped or even cost them their livestake their valuable lives. Obviously, if they stay away from their university, the government should think of other ways to provide adequate public transportbuild adequate transportation, build a portal for the carpool facility, etc. In this way, authorities could protect the youth, and they could also reducebut they could actually decrease pollution and traffic. Hence, nations should not allow millennials to try their hands on vehicles unless they are 21 as well as trained sufficiently. On top of that, they can keep an assessment to issue the driving license, which practised successfully in India for the past decade.
To conclude, though we should give freedom of thought to every individual and it comes under the fundamental rights, I strongly reckon that 21 is the age when they could start such legal procedures. In this way, we give them a chance to enjoy their teenage, preventing them from innumerous bad experiences.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response states a firm position and covers voting, marriage, and driving with substantial explanation and an example. Its main limitation is that several claims become sweeping or loosely reasoned, and frequent awkward word choices and grammatical slips weaken precision despite generally clear meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the case around distinct, balanced reasons for each legal activity and express those reasons with more accurate, neutral language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and all three legal activities are discussed, but some support is overgeneralised, extreme, or only loosely connected to the claim.
Give each activity a distinct, balanced reason and support it with evidence that directly explains why age twenty-one is preferable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear overall structure and usable progression, although long body paragraphs and repetitive linking sometimes obscure relationships.
Divide the body into more focused units and remove mechanical connectors where the sequence of ideas already makes the link clear.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss the topic in detail, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Use neutral, exact terms for maturity, legal rights, road safety, and licensing instead of exaggerated or loosely fitting expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but recurring errors in agreement, clause construction, and verb forms limit control.
Proofread complex sentences for complete verb phrases, accurate subject-verb agreement, and clear relative-clause attachment.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, 18 is the legal age to vote, to drive and to marry, while it’s higher in some others. Do you think it’s the right age?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.