Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others think there are some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
These days, many people are spending an increasing amount of time commuting to their workplace or school. Although there may be some benefits to this development, I believe it is mostly negative.
There are only a couple of benefits that people could possibly gain from having to spend large amounts of time travelling to and from work or school, which are mostly related to those who commute via public transport. Firstly, travelling on public transport can allow people more time to get things done that they have been too busy to complete. For example, some schoolchildrenschool kids have to spend up to one hour travelling by bus every day and this is a great opportunity for them to get their homework done. Likewise, some adults may use this time to catch up on some unfinished work on their laptopslaptop, or plan their work schedule for the day. Furthermore, sitting on a bus or train is also a great time to relax and read a book.
However, not everyonenot all people can take advantage of these benefits. For example, in Vietnam, only a small percentage of people use public transport and therefore have no opportunity to read or catch up on work. Instead, most people are stuck in traffic jams during rush hours, sitting on a motorbike breathing in toxic fumes from other vehicles, which in the long term can lead to a number of serious health issues. Additionally, spending more and more time commuting leaves less time for other more important activities, like spending time with loved ones or pursuingloved ones, or pursuing one’s hobbies. LastlyAnd lastly, in my experiencefrom my observations, when travelling on public transport these days, the majority of people are not reading or working but instead keepare not reading or working, but keep their eyes glued to their smartphonessmartphone browsing social media, which could be considered a wastecould be considered as an a waste of time.
Overall, I believe this is a negative development; however,negative development, however it really depends upon how people spend their time while travelling.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, well-supported position, with relevant benefits and drawbacks developed through specific examples. Its main limitation is a slight inconsistency between the firm ‘mostly negative’ stance in the introduction and the more conditional final sentence, while a few imprecise phrases reduce polish. The highest-priority improvement is to make the conclusion fully align with the nuanced position established in the body.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed with a clear opinion and relevant, well-developed supporting examples.
State the final position with the same precision as the introduction so the qualification does not weaken the overall judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader naturally.
Refine the transition into the final example so it connects more explicitly to the argument about wasted commuting time.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise vocabulary conveys both practical benefits and social or health drawbacks effectively.
Replace occasional awkward choices such as ‘considered as’ and informal wording such as ‘school kids’ with more idiomatic academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately, with only isolated slips that do not impede meaning.
Proofread articles and prepositions carefully to remove minor errors such as ‘an a waste of time’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others think there are some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.