Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Sample Response
The contention that wealth is the primary route to happinessparamount route to happiness in life is a view held by manya perspective often upheld by many. It is indisputable that possessing considerable wealth can give individuals many ways to pursue happinessfurnish individuals with a multitude of avenues through which happiness can be attained. Primarily, financial affluence affords individuals the luxury of not having to worry about meetingfulfilling basic needs, thereby alleviating stress and fostering a sense of security and contentment. Moreover, wealth provides individuals with the means to indulge in various leisure activities, travel to exotic locales, and buy luxury goodsprocure high-end commodities, all of which significantly enhancecontribute significantly to enhancing one’s overall satisfaction and well-being.
However, it is crucial to acknowledge the limitations of equating wealth with happiness. While material comforts can undoubtedly contribute to momentary happiness, lasting fulfillment often depends on more than material possessionssustained fulfillment often transcends monetary possessions. Research indicates that once basic needs are met, additional wealth yields diminishing returns in terms of happinessadditional wealth has diminishing returns on happiness. Furthermore, the pursuit of wealth can engender a sense of emptiness and disillusionment, as individuals may find themselves trapped in a perpetual cycle of consumerism and materialism, devoid of deeper meaning and purpose in life.
In addition to financial prosperity, there are many other aspects of lifethere exist myriad other facets of life that are instrumental in fostering happiness and well-being. Meaningful relationships, characterized by love, trust, and companionship, are paramount in nurturing emotional fulfillment and contentment. Devoting time to cultivatingcultivate these relationships and forge meaningful connections can bring immeasurable joy and satisfaction. Furthermore, pursuing passions and hobbies, whether it be engaging in creative endeavors, sports, or intellectual pursuits, allows individuals to experience a profound sense of fulfillment and self-actualization.
Moreover, acts of altruism and generosity, such as volunteering or philanthropy, not only contribute to the well-being of others but also evoke a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment in the giver.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its sophisticated, well-controlled discussion of several credible routes to happiness, with wealth, relationships, personal interests and altruism all developed clearly. Its main limitation is that the critique of materialism occupies substantial space and the ending stops without drawing the strands together; prioritise a concise concluding synthesis that directly reinforces how money helps and why non-financial sources can provide deeper fulfilment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed directly through well-developed explanations of financial security, material opportunities, relationships, interests and altruism.
End with a brief synthesis that explicitly weighs the contribution of money against the deeper non-financial sources discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used smoothly and accurately.
Integrate the final point about altruism into the preceding paragraph or develop it enough to justify a separate paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys abstract ideas effectively, although the register occasionally becomes more ornate than necessary.
Prefer simpler natural phrasing where expressions such as procure high-end commodities add formality without adding precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled with strong control, and the few slips do not impede meaning.
Refine occasional verb-pattern choices, such as using devoting time to cultivating, to make the grammar consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.