In the modern world, schools are no longer necessary because there is so much information available through the internet that children can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Owing to the abundance of information accessible on the internet, many people believemany are of the belief that children can effectively learn at home, making schools obsolete in today's society. I completely disagree with this viewcontention, and this essay will elaborate on my reasons.
Granted, one might argue that schools have become a thing of the past due to the adventappearance of the internet. The main reasonThe key rationale here is that this technology enables students to access a wide range of resources, such as online textbooks and educational websitesnamely online textbooks and educational websites. This wealth of information, therefore, can help children deepenthese children deepen their understanding of subjects and explore topics beyond what is covered in the classroom. Nevertheless, the lax verification processes of many websites and online platforms could expose students to unreliable and misleading information, potentially harmingtaking a toll on their academic results and, by extension, their overall knowledge. This makes the role of teachers and schools necessaryrenders the role of teachers and schools warranted, as they are capable of ensuring the reliability and accuracy of the knowledge imparted to their students.
Moreover, schools play a dual role, not just as places for imparting academic knowledge but also as miniature societies where children can develop and refine their interpersonal skillsabilities. This is because young students can develop their communication skills in various social settings through their daily interactions with peers and teachers in the school environment. For example, during group projects or classroom discussions, students have the opportunity to express their thoughts, actively listen to others, and engage in constructive dialogue. These interactions allow them to learn how to effectively communicate their ideas, understand different perspectives, and collaborate with others. Such experiences in school provide a practical foundation for children to develop strong interpersonal skills that will benefit them in future personal and professional relationships.
In conclusion, despite the internet's usefulness as a source of informationthe usefulness of the internet regarding information accessibility, I am convinced that young students should continue going to school, given the accurate knowledge and social environment that these places offer.
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response is strongest in its clear, persuasive position and detailed development of schools' roles in ensuring reliable learning and building interpersonal skills. Its main limitation is slight over-elaboration in the social-skills discussion and a few strained collocations that reduce concision. The highest-priority improvement is to tighten repeated explanation while refining awkward phrasing so the argument remains equally developed but more economical and precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay fully addresses the claim with a consistent position and two relevant, thoroughly extended reasons supported by a concrete example.
Strengthen the response further by trimming repeated explanation in the social-development argument and using that space for a more concise evaluative link to the claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and arguments are sequenced logically, with effective paragraphing and cohesive links that make the reasoning easy to follow.
Reduce repetition within the second body paragraph so each sentence advances the argument rather than restating the same benefit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise lexical range supports nuanced academic discussion, although a few choices such as the appearance of the internet and rendering a role warranted are strained.
Replace overly formal or awkward combinations with more natural academic collocations while retaining the existing breadth of vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentence forms is handled with strong control, and errors are rare and do not impede communication.
Refine the phrasing of dense clauses to improve elegance and concision while preserving the high level of grammatical accuracy.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In the modern world, schools are no longer necessary because there is so much information available through the internet that children can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.